


As One Door Burns, A Brighter One Opens.

by Wanderer44



Series: Xan & Jay [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: ABDL, Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Bed-Wetting, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Infantilism, Little, M/M, Pacifiers, Past Abuse, bottles, ddlb, littlespace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-12-30 04:18:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18308048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanderer44/pseuds/Wanderer44
Summary: Xan gets some terrible news, Jay is there to pick up the pieces and look after his little one





	1. A Terrible Day

Xan stood with his phone to ear a look of pure shock on his face.

"O..kay, thankyou for calling..." He said as he hung up.

He slumped down in a heap on the floor, he couldn't hold back anymore and burst in to tears. Xan pulled his knees to his chest and cried, his heart hurt. It was more than twenty minutes before Xan had calmed down enough to stand up. He walked to the sink and shakily got himself a glass of water. He leant on the kitchen counter, his heart was fluttering, his mind was trying to process what he had just learned.

"It's okay Jay will be back soon, it'll be okay, Jay will know what to do." He repeated to himself.

He slumped onto the kitchen floor and he sat in the dark holding his knees to his chest until Jay returned. He heard Jay's key in the front door and fled towards the noise.

"Hi sweetie,  i'm b..." Jay was cut off by Xan slamming into him in floods of tears.

Xan cried loudly and held tightly to Jay.

"Xan whats wrong!? What happened?!" Jay felt a little panicked

Xan couldn't say anything he just clung to Jay and cried. Jay lifted him up and carried him to the sofa. He sat holding Xan in his lap as he cried. He cradled Xan and stroked his back trying to soothe him. After some time Xan's crying reduced to quiet sobbing.

"Sweetie, tell me whats wrong, what happened?" Jay was still panicked but this time spoke in a more serious tone. 

Xan managed to say two words between hiccups and sobs. 'The News'. Jay was puzzled but turned on the tv to the local news channel.

_"... Firefighters are still struggling to control a blaze in a downtown commercial building. The fire started in one of the rented studio spaces due to a reported electrical fault. 3 people have been take to hospital for smoke inhialtion but their conditions are not thought to be serious. Residents are being urged to stay away from the area and a police corden has been setup. Firefighters say the rear of the building could collapse, we will bring you more updates as they come in..."_

Jay flicked the tv off. "Oh... Xan, I.." Jay didn't know what to say.

He just held his boy tight, this wouldn't be easy for Jay to fix. Xan upon hearing the tv was crying again. Unfortunately by the time he had calmed down, his weak bladder had betrayed him again.

"Come on sweetie, lets get you cleaned up." Jay said standing with Xan still tightly attached.

He carried his boy to the bedroom and stood him by the bed. He carefully stripped his wet clothes off, before guiding him to lay on the bed. Xan flopped down on the bed, he reached over for his large shark plush gripping onto it in place of Jay. He buried his face in the soft blue fuzz, the fabric soaking up his tears. Jay cleaned Xan up and diapered him, before changing his own clothes. He threw on some comfy jogging bottoms with a tshirt and jumper. Jay laid on the bed, Xan scrambled to Jay's side snuggling up to him still softly sobbing. It was only a few minutes before Xan fell asleep, he had worn himself from all the crying. Jay eased himself out of bed, wanting to let Xan rest and went to get himself a drink. 

He made his coffee and slumped onto a seat at the breakfast bar. He sighed to himself, thinking about how hurt his boy was and worrying. He ran his hand through his hair trying to think, trying to process what had happened. His sipped his coffee enjoying the warmth. His eyes were drawn to some post that was uncharacteristically tossed on the breakfast bar. Xan always put everything in its place and was very neat and tidy. The envelope had been ripped open but the letter that lay on top hadn't been unfolded.

"He must have dropped it earlier." Jay said quietly to himself.

Jay's curiosity got the better of him and he read the letter.

"Oh.. shit." 

Jay glanced from the letter at the envelope, it had a red urgent stamp on it. It wasn't good.

_"Poor Xan, he really doesn't need this right now. Maybe I should wait to... no it's important he needs to know."_ Jay thought to himself. _"Even if it is really bad. He doesn't need anymore bad news, but I can't keep this from him."_

Jay let out an audible groan and held his head in his hands. 

"Jay?" Xan called.

Jay looked up to see Xan rubbing his eyes wearing just his tshirt and a slightly wet diaper. Even in his sleepy state Xan could see Jay was worried.

"Come here sweetie." Jay said holding his arms out.

Xan hugged Jay, whining a little when Jay broke the hug.

"Xan, I.. you need to read this letter okay? But before you do, just know that I will be right here okay? I will help you figure something out, we can fix whatever has happened today okay?" Jay tried to reasure him.

Xan looked confused, he didn't really know what Jay was talking about but he sat in the chair next to Jay. Jay handed him the letter with a worried face. As Xan read Jay put his hand on his shoulder for comfort. 

"O.oh." Xan said his voice cracking. Tears dripped onto the letter, Xan was fighting his urges trying so hard not to cry.

"Oh Baby, come here." Jay said throwing his arms around him.

Xan lost his battle, he cried into Jay's shoulder. The letter said that the building Xan lived in had been sold and the new owner wanted to renovate the property and all occupants had to leave. When Xan started the day he had a home, a studio and a boyfriend. Now all he had was Jay. But Jay wasn't about to let his boy go through this alone. He would help him heal and he would help him figure it all out.

He shushed Xan and rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him. Jay stood holding Xan close to him. He filled a sippy cup and a bottle with water, then tucked them between him and Xan. Jay carried his heartbroken boy to the bedroom. His poor boy was going to wear himself out again. He placed Xan's drinks on the nightstand and lay on the bed with Xan. Jay let Xan get out all of the hurt that he needed to. When Xan's crying slowed, he pursuaded him to drink some water. Xan suckled on the sippy cup, tears still spilling from his eyes.

"Good boy, drink up sweetie." Jay kissed the top of Xan's head and held him tight.

There was nothing Jay could say right now, Xan just needed him to hold him. Jay felt his little ones crys slow and his breathing settle down. He had fallen asleep again. Jay put the sippy cup aside and lay holding Xan. His mind was running on overtime, trying to think of ways he could help Xan and help fix all the things that had gone wrong today. He thought long and hard, desperate to come up with a solution. His thoughts were interrupted by a warm feeling on his leg. Luckily it was just the diaper and not wet sheets. It made him feel very protective of Xan, like Xan needed him to look after him, to care for him. He seemed so vulnerable, so innocent in that moment. Jay looked down at Xan sleeping and saw his thumb had made its way into his mouth and his eyes were still wet.

Jay reached for the paci on the nightstand and replaced Xan's thumb with it. Jay gently rubbed his thumb over the tears wiping them away. He stayed looking at Xan curled up next to him, waiting for his little one to wake.


	2. Jay's Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay wants to ask Xan something that he hopes both of them want...

Xan woke up a short while later still holding on Jay. The paci now bobbing in his mouth.

"Hi sleepy head." Jay said as he ran his hand through Xan's hair.

Jay noticed straight away Xan had a different aura about him. He wasn't the sad young man that he was earlier, he had slipped into a regression. Jay was, in a way thankful. His boy wasn't hurting like before, he was regressing as a way to deal with the trauma he felt from the days news.

"How are you doing sweetie?" Jay asked testing his theory.

Xan just lay his head on Jay's chest and cuddled which made Jay smile. It was getting into the early evening now and Jay's stomach was demanding to be fed.

"How about some dinner baby?" Jay said twirling Xan's hair between his fingers. 

Xan breifly nodded in reply.

"Oh but lets get you changed first." Jay stood and gathered up the changing supplies.

Xan stayed laying in the beds warm spot on his side until Jay tickled his toes playfully. Xan let loose a happy giggle.

"Come over, little one." Jay said as he patted the end of the bed.

Xan shuffled his way down the bed towards Jay, his paci still firmly between his lips and Bear now held tight to his chest. Jay pulled at Xan's tshirt and tucked it out of the way. He untaped each side of the wet diaper, pulling the front open. He wiped Xan down with wet wipes and tucked them in the used diaper to be disposed of. He unfolded the new diaper and lifted Xan's bum easily with one hand, slipping the fresh padding underneath him before putting Xan down again. He sprinkled powder liberally and rubbed it gently in so it covered everywhere. He pulled up the front securing Xan in and taped each side closed.

"There we go sweetie all clean."

Jay leant down and placed a kiss to Xan's cheek, which made his little smile behind his paci. Jay got a onesie out from one of Xan's drawers ready to put on. Xan sat up on the end of the bed and Jay pulled his tshirt off over his head, replacing it quickly with the onesie. He helped Xan slide his arms in and as Xan stood he fastened the poppers over his diaper. 

Xan cuddled onto Jay "T'ankyou." 

"You're welcome." Jay said kissing Xan's forehead. "You can go play for a bit, while I make us some food."

Xan skipped off, plonking himself down at the coffee table infront of the tv. He turned the tv to a cartoon channel that had music playing away, then dived into his toy chest. He pulled out some toy dinosaurs and set them all up on the table. He played happily making some get into fights and then making them sit in time outs and making others dance around and others eat yummy leaves.

Jay couldn't help but smirk at the cute sceen being played out in the living room as he was trying to make his own version of special fried rice. He cut chicken and vegetables and fried them all together. Balancing his attention from his cooking to his little one. When Jay was happy it was all done, he served it into two bowls ready to take it over to Xan. He filled a bottle with juice and got himself a glass of water and set them on the coffee table.

"Ready for some dinner sweetie?" Jay asked as he retrieved the bowls and forks setting them next to the drinks on the table.

"Put the dino's down for a minute, its time to eat now." 

Xan pushed his bowl a little way across the table away frm him. 

"Uh uh, you have to eat too mister."

Jay pulled his paci out and set it aside trying to encourage his boy to eat. It was going to be a little harder tonight Jay thought as he tucked into his own dinner. Xan picked out a piece on chicken and nibbled on it before offering it to the dino's lined up on the table. Xan picked up a triceratps, making him eat out of the bowl. Jay thought it was adorable almost choking on his food as he chuckled quietly to himself. It didnt take long for Jay to finish his food. He slid off of the sofa leaning his back against it.

"Come sit with Daddy sweetie." Jay said as he pulled Xan into his lap.

He took the fork and pulled Xan's bowl close to him. He scooped up a mouthful and tried to feed it to Xan.

"Noooo." Xan whined trying to put his hands up to block the fork.

Jay had a plan though a way he hoped would win Xan over.

"Oh, I guess Daddy didn't do very good at cooking.." He said feigning sadness. "I thought my little one would really like it... I guess I was wrong." 

Xan's eyes widened he didn't want to make Jay sad, maybe he could try a little bit. He leaned forward and took the forkful of food. Jay scooped up a second and waited for Xan to finish his mouthful before holding it up to him again. Xan happily took the fork into his mouth, it was tasty really and he wanted to show Jay he liked it.

Jay smiled and praised Xan as he fed him, he managed to eat almost the whole bowl before he was finished. 

"Wow, you did so well sweetie." 

"Thankyou, it was nice." Xan replied.

"Well, Thankyou." 

Jay took the bowls to the sink and got himself a fresh drink. Xan flicked the tv over to the movie waiting screen then climbed onto the sofa with his bottle. Jay sat down on the sofa and Xan handed him the remote.

"You want me to choose?" 

Xan nodded, then laid on the sofa with his head nestled in Jay's lap. Jay had a look through and chose a family friendly movie, while Xan suckled from his bottle. Jay put one arm over Xan's chest and stroked his hair with his other. 

As the movie ended, the music over the credits woke Jay. He had dozed off briefly, Xan lay with his now empty bottle still bobbing in his mouth.

"Are you thirsty sweetie?" Jay asked him stretching a little.

Xan looked up at him from his lap and nodded. Jay chuckled seeing the cutie pie happy in lap. Xan sat up and Jay went off to get them something to drink.  
Jay came back and sat facing Xan handing him his bottle. 

"Thanks." Xan said happily accepting it.

"Xan... I have something id like to ask you. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything okay?" Jay began.

Xan looked at Jay, Jay was blushing slightly as he spoke.

"What is it?" Xan asked his curiosity peaked.

"Will you.. uh I mean.. would... um..." Jay stuttered, butterflies building in his stomach. "Would you like to come and live with me?"

Xan looked at Jay with a stunned expression. Happy tears flodded his eyes. "Really?"

"Of course sweetie, we spend slmost every night together either here or at my place and you always say I have all these empty rooms and that I should do something with them and well.. i'd like to give them to you." 

Xan hugged Jay tight. "I.. I.. I'd love to!" He managed to say.

Xan broke the hug and kissed Jay deeply. "Are you sure its okay for me to move in with you? I.. I don't want to be a bother." Xan asked not wanting to disturb Jay's life or invade his space.

"Xan, sweetie, I don't just want you to move in with me, I want it to be 'Our' house." Jay said as he placed another kiss to Xan's lips. 

"You don't have to worry about money and I can look after you while we fix your little studio problem okay?" Jay said stroking Xan's cheek. "Daddy will fix everything."

Xan nodded, feeling very little again after hearing Jay's comforting words. His thumb crept its way into up to his mouth, Jay blocked his arm and placed his paci in his mouth instead.

"My sweet boy." Jay said his hand cupping Xan's cheek.

Xan blushed red but leant his head against Jay's warm hand.

"Lets have an early night baby." 

Xan agreed and followed Jay to the bedroom clutching onto Jay's jumper as they walked side by side. Xan jumped onto the bed seizing Bear who was waiting for them to return. Jay changed his clothes while Xan cuddled Bear. Jay leaned over and stuck his finger in Xan's leg cuff to check his diaper, it was dry. So Jay pulled back the covers and slid into bed wriggling to get comfy, Xan got into place snuggling by Jay's side. 

He let Xan get comfy, before he pulled out Xan's paci. Xan looked a little sad but Jay kissed his lips.

"Don't worry sweetie, here." Jay said as he held his bottle to Xan's lips. "Drink up little one."

Jay ran his fingers Xan's long hair, Xan felt so content. He had never felt such comfort before. Jay was equally happy, they had only been together a couple of months and he didn't want to rush things. But Xan's misfortune, in a way would be good for the couple. Jay would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about asking Xan to move in before now, but he didn't want to rush him int something he wasn't ready for. 

As Xan started to fall asleep, Jay put the bottle away and popped Xan's paci back in his mouth. 

"Night Dadd'y" Xan said quietly, just before slipping off to dreamland.

"Goodnight my sweet boy." Jay said kissing Xan softly as he fell asleep.

Jay let out a happy sigh he couldn't wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow he could start planning and packing for Xan's big move.


	3. Packing Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Xan and Jay to pack up the apartment...

Xan and Jay lay in bed, it was just after 10 in the morning when they decided to get up. Jay went to the toilet and then made his way to the kitchen for his first coffee of the day. Xan got up and disposed of his overnight diaper and brushed his teeth. Jay made his way back in to the bedroom.

"Im going to jump in the shower." Xan said then looked over his shoulder at Jay who he caught staring at his bare bum. "Do you want to join me~?" He offered, his lust beginning to grow inside him.

Jay gave Xan a devious smile and pulled his sleeping shirt over his head, tossing it on the bed. Jay's hands held Xan's hips as he was reaching forward to turn on the water. Xan turned and kissed Jay deeply, his hands stroking the back on Jay's neck. They threw their remaining clothes off and pulled the curtain closed. The water cascaded down onto them both.

After a long steamy shower, they got out and dried off Jay helping Xan with his long hair. Jay brushed his teeth as Xan brushed his hair. Jay rinsied and was looking in the steamy mirror whem Xan drew a heart in the condensation.

Jay chuckled. "You are so adorable." He said.

Holding Xan's chin he kissed him softly on his lips. Which made Xan blush a little, he loved to hear Jay call him nice things it made butterflies swirl in his stomach. Xan put his hair up into a ponytail as Jay lathered his face to shave. Xan felt a stinging sensation on his bum.

"Ow." He said rubbing his behind.

Jay saw out of the corner of his eye, then turned quickly. "Omg Xan, I didn't hurt you did I?!"

Xan shook his head and turned around to show Jay. He had a small red rash starting to form on a small area of his bum.

"Oh sweetie." Jay said trying not to smile. "I think you're getting a little diaper rash. It's alright we can clear that up nice and easily."

Jay kissed Xan on his cheek, spoldging some shaving foam onto his nose by accident. Xan chuckled loudly at this, then made a pretend disgusted noise before wiping it away. Jay finished shaving a short while later, when he returned to the bedroom he found Xan still naked laying on his stomach on the bed. His legs were happily swinging as he was playing with some of his stuffie collection.

Jay laughed, tickling Xan's foot making him yelp and chuckle.

"You were supposed to get dressed mister."

"Hmm.. but I didn't know what to wear.. what are we doing today?" Was Xan's excuse.

"Well, I was going to go pick up some boxes, so we could start packing. If you like we could pick up some breakfast too." Jay suggested.

"Yeaah!" Xan cheered.

Jay smiled at his reaction. "Lets get you dressed sweetie, lay down for me."

Xan obeyed and lay on his back playing with the soft puppy Jay had first got him, which they had named Max. Jay diapered his little one up quickly and easily, he was getting to be a pro at it now. He turned to Xan's wardrobe and Xan bounced up and followed.

"What do you fancy wearing?"

Xan pulled out some Jeans and a tshirt with a cute print. Holding them up for Jay to approve.

"Okay, but you need a jumper too, it's a little chilly today."

Jay chose one and pulled it out for him. He let Xan dress himself and then helped him pull the jumper over his head. Jay got himself ready, while Xan went off to find his shoes. Xan had his shoes on and was ready to go, almost bounced on the spot. And when Jay grabbed his keys, they were off.

They drove to the hardware store and Xan insisted they got a trolley so he could push it round. They only needed one thing, but Jay let Xan get the trolley after he saw how happy he was. They picked up two packs of moving boxes before going to pay. Xan raced around with the trolley pretending it was a racing car, thankfully the store was virtually empty. Jay made small talk with the cashier as they paid for their items and they were on their way.

"What would you like for breakfast cutie pie?" Jay asked as they drove out of the parking lot.

Xan wasn't sure, so Jay picked instead. He chose a drive-thru, with Xan anxious in busy public places Jay just thought it would be more comfortable. They pulled up to the speaker and Jay ordered his food.

"What do you fancy?"

"A chicken baguette an' some fruit."

"Ooo yum." Jay said and turned to the speaker "Hi we'll take a number 4 and a 33."

"An' a big banana milkshake!" Xan said loudly almost forgetting.

Jay laughed as the voice on the speaker heard Xan's order and repeated it. They pulled up to the window and paid, then took their food to the parking lot and tucked in. Jay watched Xan eat and smiled feeling such affection for him. Xan's noises of enjoyment made Jay feel good about his choice. Xan ate half of his chicken and his fruit pretty quickly for him. He wanted to get home and pack really but he didnt want to rush Jay. Jay looked over again as Xan was tucking into his milkshake.

"Is it good?"

"Mmmm." Xan said and held the cup out for Jay to try.

Jay took a small slurp. "Mmm very nice." He said giving Xan a wink.

They set off back to Xan's apartment, satisfyed with their meals and with boxes ready for packing. Jay parked outside and carried the boxes in, Xan was still happily sipping away on his milkshake.

They closed the door behind them and kicked off their shoes. Jay set the boxes on the coffee table and turned to look at Xan. Xan was fighting with his jumper trying to get it off, but it had tangled and trapped his arms. He gave Jay a pouted look, complete with bottom lip poking out.

"What did you get yourself into?" Jay said with a chuckle. "Come, let me help."

Jay freed him from the jumper trap, Xan took the jumper and threw it into the bedroom.

"Bad!" He admonished it.

Jay put his hand on Xan's head and smiled. "How about I tape up some boxes?"

Xan agreed and plonked down with his milkshake back in his hand, ready to watch. He suckled away as Jay unfolded the flat pack boxes, flipped them over, folded the flaps and taped them securely. When he finished there were boxes of various sizes filling up the room. Xan and Jay made a plan of what to pack in which box and what to leave aside to put into bags.

"You make a start sweetie, I just have some phone calls to make." Jay said excusing himself to the kitchen.

"Okay!" Xan said happily.

Xan decided that he would start in the bedroom. It was where he kept most of his belongings and his favourite things. He dragged two large boxes with him and started by diving under the bed, pulling out all of the items undernearth. As he uncovered different piles and packs of things, he was tidily packed them into the moving boxes. As he cleared furthur under the bed, he started to find things he had forgotten he had.

"Wow!" He said pulling the once lost items free.

He found a treasure trove of belongings. Manga books, some story books, toy animals, pokemon cards and various art supplies he didn't know was there. The books were quickly sorted into the moving boxes, the toy animals were set aside for a different box he hadnt started on yet. But when he came to the pokemon cards, his curiousity took over. He flicked through them in their smart book reading their attacks and numbers.

Jay was setting up some things over the phone for Xan and for the house. He finished his first call and noticed there was no noise. He poked his head in the bedroom to see Xan playing with some cards he had found, instead of packing.

"You can keep them out if you want sweetie. But pack the rest okay?"

Xan put the pokemon cards with Bear on the bed and got back to packing. Jay chuckled happy that Xan was back on track and went to make his other phone calls.

"Good morning, I was hoping to get some furniture delivered this week... Yes it was alarge corner desk, and there were two easels as well a shelving unit... Yes... The order nuber was *** **** **... That's great, Wednesday is fine. Thankyou."

Jay smiled to himself, he had planned so many things out, maybe he had overdone it. But he knew Xan would like it, so it was worth it. He had one more phone call surprise to set up.

"Hey, how's things? .. Good, yeah. Did you get my email?.. Yeah.. When can you bring them over?.. I can be there in like 15 minutes... Excellent. Right see you shortly."  
Jay tried to put on a poker face so as not to give the game away to Xan. He walked into the bedroom where Xan had filled two moving boxes and was working on a third.

"Hey sweetie, how's it doing in here?"

"Good i've already done under the bed." Xan smiled happy with his progress.

"Excellent, I just have to pop out quickly i'll be back in about half an hour." Jay said.

"Alright" Xan said giving Jay a kiss.

They said goodbye and Xan went back to filling his moving boxes and Jay went to his SUV. Xan decided packing would be more fun with music and when he asked Bear his opinion, Xan said Bear agreed. He put on a CD and dancing with Bear for a few minutes, before getting back to the task in hand.

Jay pulled up to his house and saw that his friend Jenny was already there waiting for him.

"Hi, you got here quick" Jay said as they hugged.

"Yeah, no traffic and Daisy was asleep so I wasn't busy." Jenny replied.

"Aw, how is she doing? Any better?"

"Well her fevers gone and she can keep food down now, so she's on the mend. Not very energetic, so it's peaceful." Jenny laughed.

"Bless, anyway let's go inside. Want me to carry those?" Jay said fumbling with his keys.

"Nah, they're nice and light. I've got them." Jenny dropped the boxes in the hallway. "Soooo, when do we get to meet him?"

"How about tomorrow? I could really use some help moving his stuff." Jay suggested. Really hoping for some help too.

"Sure, I can manage that. I'm free after 1pm."

"Oh thankyou, its a tiny apartment but theres lots to move." Jay explained.

"Actually I can bring the van, that would be easier. You can make it up to me with a takeaway haha!" Jenny had made things so much easier for Jay and Xan. "Did you want to check the delivery?"

"Yeah lets have a quick look, then I have to get back. Can't let him do it all by himself." Jay chuckled.

He inspected the soft packages and smiled. "They're great, thankyou."

They said their goodbyes then Jay left to see Xan and Jenny went off home to see her little one.

Meanwhile, Xan had made excellent progress. Under the bed was clean and packed away, so were the small shelves in the corner of the bedroom and most of the wardrobe. He had even folded the clothes nicely instead of throwning them in like he was planning on doing. Bear had been joined by a few more friends, they sat together on the bed supervising. At one point Xan had found a single sock in a packet he had obviously forgotten about and he flung it at the group of stuffed friends. It landed on Dylan the dinosaurs neck like a scarf and Xan had burst into a fit of giggles, falling onto the bed. He played with the stuffed animals adjusting Dylans brand new accessory, before getting back on task. He was doing very, very well staying motivated without Jay there.

"Hi sweetie, im back." Jay called from the front door.

"Hiii" Xan sung as he came to greet him.

He wrapped his arms around Jay for a cuddle. Taking in his masculine scent. Jay kissed the top of his head.

"How are you getting on?"

"I've done lots." Xan looked up at him smiling.

"Well done." Jay said happily. "I went to see my friend and she's going to help us move tomorrow, she has a big van we can load all the stuff into." Jay saw Xan's face look a little nervous. "Don't worry sweetie, she is one of my very best friends. She's really looking forward to meeting you."

"Okay." Xan smiled back.

He turned pulling Jay along to the bedroom, so he could show him what he had packed. As Xan was pointing out all he had packed and listing the things he had found, Jay noticed his diaper peaking out over his jeans. Jay stepped close to Xan and poked his finger in the waistband.

"Turn around for me sweetie."

Xan turned and Jay undid his jeans lowering them enough so he could check his diaper.

"I think you need a change little one." Jay said patting the bed for Xan to lay down.

Xan flushed red, his thumb creeping into his mouth as he laid down to be changed. He felt so safe with Jay checking him and taking care of him. He also felt so small, having his boyfriend check his diaper and declare he needed changing. Xan lay on the bed, his jeans around his ankles, his stuffed supervisors watching him with fixed smiles and Jay changing him.

Something touched him drawing his attention back to Jay. "Eeep!" Xan yelped.

"Sorry sweetie, I know its cold. But this will help get rid of the rash." Jay explained.

He put on the rash cream, then powdered and taped Xan up, pulling his jeans up and fastening them for him.

"Thankyouu." Xan murmured.

Jay kissed Xan's nose making him giggle. "You're welcome cutie."

"How about we take a break and get something to drink? We can listen to the music and cuddle on the sofa." Jay suggested, knowing Xan's answer already.

Jay made himself a cup of coffee and filled a sippy cup of juice for Xan. Leaving Xan's CD's playing they settled on the sofa. Xan wasn't paying much attention to the music anymore, but he didn't like it when there wasn't any sound, so it made for good background noise. Jay sat in his usual spot and Xan straddled his lap laying against him. Xan put his head on Jay's shoulder feeling content.

"You know, my friend Jenny has a little."

Xan's ears pricked up. "She does?"

"Yep. do you remember when we first met and I told you that my friend was a little? Well Jenny is her girlfriend. She was also the one who helped me order those onesies I brought you." Jay told Xan. "So if you need to be little tomorrow, you don't have to hide anything okay? Theres no need to be shy about who you are infront of her."

Jay was waiting to see if Xan would feel tense, but happily his body stayed relaxed. Jay finished his drink and as he did Xan jumped up, Jay thought he had upset him, but was relieved when he saw Xan was just changing the CD.

Xan turned and smiled. "What shall we pack next?"

"Hmm, let me do these books and your sketchbooks. How about you find all your toys, from all over and put them all in your toy box then we can take that as is."

"I can take my toy box?!" Xan said with surprise.

"Of course sweetie, we can take anything you want."

Xan's face lit up and he sprinted off to the bedroom to gather all the toys he could find. Jay smiled as he watched Xan. Then he made a start on his books. Jay made quick work of the books and sketchbooks. Xan ran through every so often with an armful of various toys dropping them one by one into the toy box, then skipping off to find more.  Jay was working away in the kitchen wrapping plates and bowls in paper, before carefully placing them into a box.

"I can't find anymore." Xan said standing above Jay. "What should I pack next?"

"Well everything needs packing sweetie, would you like to do your art supplies?

"Everything? I don't have to leave anything?" Xan said with a big smile on his face.

"Nope, it can allll come with us." Jay said

Xan bounded off again dragging a box behind him, he was happily setting his art supplies into the box while Jay watched on. Jay came to a realization after Xan had been so surprised at being allowed to take all his belongings. Maybe everytime he moved before he had to leave things behind, or choose which were most important and discard the rest. He felt quite sad thinking about what Xan probably went through everytime he was forced to move. He started to feel very protective again.

Xan noticed Jay staring into space. "Are you okay?" Xan asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah sorry sweetie I was miles away. Would you like to come help me?"

Xan jumped across the room and plonked himself down leaning against Jay. Jay gave Xan a little kiss, then the two set about emptying the kitchen cupboards and packing almost everything away. Leaving only the things they would use tonight. They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening packing Xan's things together. They stopped briefly for dinner, then returned to packing.

Once they had packed Xan's 'little' items, Xan sat on the bed. Jay was taping up a few of the full boxes ready for moving, when he turned around and saw a very sleepy Xan slouched on the bed. Jay felt a little bad for making Xan do so much himself.

"Oh sweetie, are you worn out?" Jay asked rubbing Xan's back. "Come on you, lets get ready for bed.We can finish this tomorrow."

Xan's eyelids were feeling very heavy and he was ready to sleep. It made it easy for Jay to get him changed a fresh diaper and onesie for bed. He let Xan lay down cuddling his big shark plush. His stuffie collection was yet to be packed and they would need a big bag. Jay was finishing up taping the full boxes, he then made a list of what was left to do for tomorrow. When he finished he stretched and went back to the bedroom, he found Xan snoozing, with his thumb in his mouth huddled up to the large shark. Jay got himself ready for bed and slid in next to Xan. He pulled Xan's thumb out of mouth which made the little one whine and scrunch up his face. Jay stroking Xan's cheek and gently put a paci between his lips.

"Shh shh. Go to sleep baby it's okay." Jay stroked Xan's hair and in no time at all, the little one was fast asleep.

Jay smiled to himself, tomorrow would be the day he could move Xan in. He always felt his house was lonely when he was on his own. He had rooms that were empty because he simply didn't have any idea what to do with them. But now Xan could use them as he wished. It would be a busy, tiring day, but he couldn't wait.


	4. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving days are always tiring

Jay was rushing around in the living room writing on boxes, taping them up and checking them off his to do list. Jay was excited about the move, Xan however was feeling a little different. He was perched on the end of his bed, he looked around at the bare walls where his posters and pictures once filled the walls. His gaze flicked over the empty wardrobe and dents in the carpet where his furniture once stood. He turned and looked into the empty bathroom with watery eyes. Jay sighed happily to himself, pleased with his organizing. He turned to see Xan sat on the end of the bed looking a little upset.

"Sweetie? Is everything alright?" Jay said as he kneeled down infront of Xan.

"Yeah.. it's just.." Xan spoke quietly. "This was... my first ever place.. of my own.. the first place that felt like home."

Xan wiped a tear away from his eye. Jay leaned forward to hug Xan. Feeling Xan start to cry a little.

"I know baby, im sorry things worked out this way. But hopefully when you settle into our house that will be an even better home." Jay said comforting his little one. "And I will try and make it your favourite place in the whole world."

Xan cried a few tears holding onto Jay. "I'm sorry for getting upset... I'm just going to miss this place... and m..my studio."

Xan's voice was quavering as he thought about what he had lost. It was hard to focus on the propect of moving in with Jay when he was still so sad. Luckily his boyfriend was the most understanding man he knew. Jay hugged Xan tight, letting him get his tears out before wiping them away. He surprised Xan by lifting him up and spinning him around. Xan's smile brightened his face and his laugh was music to Jay's ears.

"There's my happy Xan." Jay grinned. "Now how about we leave those tears here and get you moved in, yeah?"

Xan chuckled out an agreement as Jay put him down.

"Now then, let me message Jenny, see where she is."

Just as Jay was typing his message there was a knock at the door.

"Oh" Jay said in surprise. "That must be her now, good timing."

Jay greeted Jenny and let her in, as they made small talk Xan came and stood next to Jay.

"And this must be Xan." Jenny said

"Yep, this is my Xan." Jay said holding up his arm as Xan huddled up to his side.

"Hi" Xan said shyly, hiding his face behind Jay's arm.

"Aww nice to meet you, are you a little shy? So cute!" Jenny said with a huge smile on her face.

Jay put his arm around Xan and held him against him as the two grown ups chatted a little. Xan was peeking at Jenny the whole time, checking to make sure she was nice. When he decided she was, he was a little less shy and offered her a drink.

"I would love a coffee, thankyou munchkin." Jenny said with a smile.

Xan went off to make Jenny her drink.

"I think he likes you already." Jay said feeling pleased.

"Yeah well I am loveable." Jenny joked.

"Okay so anyway, we'll put the bigger furniture in first, then these boxes. Then those over there and finally the stuff in the..."

"You've planned everything in order? I know you like to plan things out but it's a little OTT." Jenny interupted laughing. "Oh Jay, never change." She said patting Jay's shoulder.

"I couldn't help it, I like to have things organized." Jay shrugged.

Xan returned with Jenny's drink happily handing it over.

"Thankyou very much!" Jenny said

Xan smiiled, he liked her voice, it was somehow soothing.

"Right, you enjoy your drink and we'll start loading okay? Sweetie can you help me carry your toy box first?" Jay asked.

"Mhmm!" Xan said enthusiastically.

The two carefully started to load Jenny's van with the big bulky furniture. Jenny helped out, following Jay's plan and loading the first set of boxes into Jay's SUV. They managed to pack the sofa, the tv and stand, the stereo and some boxes into the van before it was full. Xan was struggling with the heavier items and Jay made a mental note to let him unload the lighter boxes. The SUV was now also full up, so it was time to drive to the house and unload. Xan was starting to feel happier, he sang along to the radio as Jay drove them with Jenny following behind in her van. It was hard work unloading, Xan was put in charge of emptying the SUV of boxes and making sure they were put into the right place. Jay and Jenny had put the lighter boxes in the SUV so it was easier for Xan to unload.

Jay and Jenny unloaded the van relatively quickly and once they had finished Jenny couldn't resist but peek at Xan's toy box.

"Oh that is cute." She said opening the lid.

Jay stood with her smiling at her reaction. He turned to call Xan, who had finished his task.

"Xan?" He called out.

Xan popped his head around the corner. "Mmm?"

"Come here sweetie."Jay said holding his arm out to him. "Would you like to show Jenny some of your toys? I think she'd really like to see them."

Xan blushed a little as Jay asked, but nodded. He came into the room and Jenny was sat on the sofa they had brought in. Jay sat next to her and Xan plopped himself down on the carpet sitting cross legged infront of them. He flipped up the lid to his wooden box of treasures. He was feeling a little shy at first passing each of them a couple of toys to look at but not saying much about them.

Jenny was enthusiastic about the toys she was given to look at making sweet comments to Xan. Once they were handed back to Xan he put them back in his toy box neatly.

"I think we should go get some more stuff shouldn't we?" Jay asked.

"Yeaahh!" Xan cheered, he jumped up and sped off to the door. "Let's go!"

"Well you heard the munchkin.  Let's go." Jenny said patting Jay's knee as she stood up.

The traffic was light, thankfully and the heaviest objects had already been moved so loading the vehicles took half as long to pack as the first time. On the way back to the house they picked up a light lunch to eat when they arrived.

"I think we should eat first, then unload afterwards. What do you think?" Jay asked Xan

Xan nodded.

"What do you think Jen? Eat first?"

"Sounds like a plan, i'm getting hungry." Jenny said.

They went inside and had a makeshift picnic on the living room floor. They all chatted while eating, Xan less so. They had small sandwiches, crisps, cold sliced meats, salad and fruit set out on a blanket in the middle of them.

"I'll get some drinks for us." Jay said.

Xan tugged on Jay's shirt and whispered to him. "Can I have a big person cup?"

"Of course sweetie. Anything you want." Jay replied and kissed Xan on the cheek.

Jay came back with a coffee each for Jenny and himself and handed Xan a glass of juice. Xan took it with both hands trying very hard to keep it still and taking care to put it down without it falling over. He was used to his sippy cups and dropping them down or not worrying about them. He was still a little shy to use one infront of Jenny, even though he liked her, he just wasn't ready yet.

Xan didn't eat much at all but Jay didn't want to push him today, he thought the moving day was stressful enough. Jenny helped Jay tidy up by packing the food away. They sat on the sofa's for a few minutes before they would unload the next set of boxes. Xan sat huddled up to Jay. Jenny was talking about her home life and how work was going, when she gave Jay a look trying to get his attention. She nodded toward Xan, who's eyes were nearly closed and had his thumb limply hanging from his lips.

Jay looked over at him smiling, Jenny was smiling too, she thought it was very sweet.

"Xan, are you a bit sleepy?" Jay asked knowing the truth.

Xan opened his eyes a little and his thumb dropped into his lap. "No." he said rather unconvincingly.

"Come on sweetie, let's put you down for a nap. Me and Jenny can unload the next lot for you." Jay said as he began to get up.

"But I can help.." Xan tried to persuade.

"No, no, you go and rest." Jenny said patting Xan's head.

Jay lifted Xan up and Xan laid his head on Jay's shoulder. He carried him up the stairs to the bedroom.

"My busy little mover. I think you need a change before your nap sweetie." Jay said laying Xan down.

He pulled off Xan's jeans folding them up and putting them on the chair for when he woke up. He changed Xan's diaper, rubbing some rash cream in before powdering and taping him up. He tucked Xan into their bed and kissed his forehead. Xan was asleep before Jay left the room.

"He's fast asleep." Jay said as he came down the stairs.

"He was so cute. I wanted to pinch his cheeks." Jenny cooed. "He's such a sweetie Jay." Jenny sniffed the air. "Did you change him?"

"You can smell that?" Jay asked surprised.

"Haha yeah. I have a little one as well remember, im well accustomed to the smells of changing supplies." Jenny laughed. "Can I ask, does he wear all the time?"

"Well most of the time, he has a very weak bladder so its just easier. He gets really upset if he has an accident." He explained.

"I would too." Jenny reasoned. "Shall we get these boxes in? Then it's less of a work load for him for when he wakes up."

An hour later they had unloaded the boxes and set out a few of Xan's belongings, his toy chest was now in the living room, his sippy cups and things were in the kitchen cupboards. They put his books up on Jay's bookshelves and put all of his art supplies and sketchbooks in the empty room by the stairs. Jay had planned to give it to him for his new studio space, he had ordered furniture for it that would be coming later in the week. It was just one of many sursprises Jay had lined up. Another one was what Jenny had brought over. They took one  of the empty moving boxes and filled it with the delivery. Jay put a bow on the box and hid it behind one of the sofa's for later on. When they had finished, Xan was stood at the top of the stairs.

"Jay?"

"Hi sweetie, did you have a good nap?" Jay walked over to the stairs

"Mhmm." Xan replied.

"Are you coming down?" Jay said holding his arms out.

Xan looked a little embarressed and shifted on the spot.

"Oh right! Sorry, I forgot we had company for a minute there." Jay said realizing

He ran up the stairs to help Xan put his jeans on. When they came back down Jenny was waiting for them.

"Hi sleepy head. Ready to go get the last boxes?"

Xan nodded smiling at Jenny.

"Oh sorry Jen, I didn't mean to keep you so long. I guess time got away from us." Jay said apologetically.

"That's alright, you'll make it up to me." Jenny said with a laugh. "Come on then."

After they dropped off the last of Xan's stuff at Jay's they said goodbye to Jenny and went into their home. Xan went straight to his stack on canvases, looking to see if he had all of them. One was wrapped in brown paper, Jay hadn't given it a second thought.

"What are you doing sweetie?" Jay asked the younger man after tidying away his and Xan's shoes by the door.

Xan dragged the large canvas out and laid it flat on the floor space in their living room.

"This one isn't mine."

Jay looked confused. Still not clicking on. "Who's is it?" He was feeling a little puzzled.

"Yours." Xan said starting to feel a little shy.

He was kneeling next to the wrapped package, looking down at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh Xan..." Jay's heart warmed. "You painted something for me?"

Xan nodded without looking up at Jay. Jay lifted his head with a finger under his chin, finally catching a glimpse of his blushing boy. He planted a soft kiss on Xan's lips, making the boy blush harder.

"Thankyou sweetie." Jay took care tearing the paper off of the canvas.

"Wow! Xan!... It's perfect!" He exclaimed as he stood the canvas up a little so he could get a better look at it. "It must have taken you ages!. I can't believe you painted me a picture."

The praise only made Xan blush a deeper shade of red. He had painted Jay a large, very detailed picture of a sceen from Beetlejuice. The movie they first watched together, which was already one of Jay's favourites, but now even more so because of that memory. Jay gently laid the canvas back down and pulled Xan into a tight cuddle.

Jay spoke quietly into Xan's ear as they embraced. "Thankyou so much Xan. My sweet, thoughtful boy."

"I think it will look great right in the middle there above the tv. And everytime I look at it I can be reminded of my wonderful little man." Jay was over the moon with his gift.  
"Oh!" He said suddenly realizing. "I got you a little gift too."

"Hm? For me?" Xan asked his interest peaking.

Jay stood and lead Xan over to the sofa's. He pulled a hidden moving box from behind the corner sofa.

"Just a little something." Jay said with a large smile planted on his face.

Xan opened up the box and inside were 3 packs of new diapers.

"So we don't run out." Jay winked.

But there was more underneath them, first he pulled out a folded up changing mat. It was cushioned and had an adorable animal print. Next was a thickly folded, super soft blanket which Xan held against his cheek relishing in its comforting fluffy texture.

"We can snuggle under that when it starts to get cold." jay said with a smile.

There was one last folded item left. As Xan pulled it out it unfolded and was a new onesie, with a paci clip attatched. The onesie had 'Daddy's Prince' embroided on the front along with coloured shapes all over. Xan looked up at Jay with a bright smile and a tear in his eye.

"Do you like i.." Jay asked, but before he could finish Xan lept into his lap squeezing him in a tight cuddle.

"Thankyou Daddy" He whispered.

"Can we get changed?" Xan asked.

Jay was delighted that Xan felt comfortable enough to ask. "Of course sweetie. Then we can have some dinner and relax a while."

Jay scooped his boy up, grabbing the new onesie and changing mat as well. He carried Xan up to their bedroom to get him into his little attire. Xan sat on the bed pulling at his tshirt while Jay unfolded the new changing mat and set out the items he would need. He helped Xan get his jeans off before patting the new mat to get Xan to lay down.

"Jenny actually made this for you." jay said as he set about changing Xan.

"For me?"

"Yep just for you. I think we'll have to thank her when we see her next won't we?"

Xan nodded, his thumb creeping into his mouth. He felt very little laying on his very own changing mat and being taken care of. Jay smiled as he saw Xan slipping into his little headspace. He reached for a paci and placed it in Xan's mouth.

Xan was soon changed and helped into his new onesie. He hugged Jay and thanked him for helping him change, for getting him his new clothes and for just making him so happy. After their long cuddle Jay went to wash his hands in the bathroom and Xan sped off down the hallway and downstairs.

"Careful! Don't run sweetie, we don't want any accidents." Jay called after him.

When Jay got downstairs, he looked around but couldn't see Xan anywhere. He checked around then heard rustling coming from the kitchen. As he walked through the door he saw Xan had found one of the bags containing his stuffed animals and was rummaging through.

"Why don't we take those upstairs sweetie? Then they can explore their new place." Jay suggested.

Xan and Jay each picked up one of the large bags of stuffed friends and took them upstairs. Jay stopped them before getting to their bedroom and turned to Xan.

"How about we put them in your playroom?" Jay said with a smile.

Xan looked up at Jay with wide eyes. "My.. wha..?" He squeeked, feeling a little stunned.

Jay opened to door that was opposite their bedroom. Inside the room was a soft carpet with brightly coloured squares and in one corner was big cuddle chair. Xan's mouth dropped open and his paci fell to the floor. He pulled the bag of stuffed friends along the floor behind him into the room.

"This is for me?" Xan asked in disblief.

"Yep." Jay smiled brightly. "We can get some furniture and set up all your toys in here. We can put your changing things in here too if you'd like."

"Wow! I would love that." Xan turned and hugged Jay. "I can't believe I get a whole room to play in." He giggled.

"I was also thinking.. You know the room downstairs where we have all your boxes in at the moment? How would you feel about using it for your studio?" Jay asked testing the waters.

"R..really? You'd let me use it?" He asked his voice a little shaky.

"Of course sweetie, this is your house now. Anything you want we can do here." Jay reassured him.

Jay could tell Xan hadn't had much freedom before and he was very timid when it came to asking or being offered something. Maybe it was a confidence issue, maybe it was just because he wasn't offered anything growing up in care. It didn't matter anymore though, Jay would spoil his boy any chance he got.

Jay sat in the cuddle chair watching over Xan as he unbagged and arranged the army of stuffed friends. He twirled Xan's paci, that had fallen out of his mouth, between his fingers while thinking about what he wanted to get for the 'little' room. He looked at Xan's genuinely happy smile and it brightened not only the room, but also Jay's heart.


	5. The Struggles of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change is hard for some

Jay sat in the lockeroom at the hospital on his break texting Xan. He didn't want to work the day after he had moved Xan in, but he knew he had to. He just wanted to spend the day cuddling and settling Xan into his new home. Xan had tried to assure Jay that everything was fine and he would be alright but Jay could see and sense Xan was still unsettled. It was true, even though Xan was happy to be with Jay and more than appreciated his generosity, he was struggling a little.

It didn't get any better when he was unpacking the moving boxes. He unpacked his art supplies and moved around his canvases but as he caught sight of the paintings he started to feel sad. Memories flooded in of when he created the pictures back in his studio. The studio he loved so much. No matter how sad he felt though, he was all smiles around Jay. He didn't want to worry him.

But this day however would prove to be a very difficult one for Xan. He had tidied a lot of his boxes away and unpacked or sorted most things into the rooms they would live now. He set up his laptop in the living room and as he was happy with his progress decided to take a little break. The stereo had been set up in the corner of the room and was playing one of Xan's CD's.

Xan surfed the web, checking his favourite websites looking at all the new content. He checked his emails before he planned on getting back to unpacking. There was an email from the manager in charge of the building where he rented his studio. It had a copy of the fire investigators report and pictures of Xan's now ex studio. It also stated that his months rent was unrefundable and included the a secondary report for Xan to forward to the insurance company. Everything went quiet. Xan couldn't hear the music clearly, it was just a dull thumping inside his ears. He felt his heart rate sped up and he swallowed hard. His hands shook and he felt dizzy. He manged to stumble his way to the stairs and crawl up them.

"J..jay." His voice called between shallow breaths.

He dragged himself into the playroom and over to the soft touch of the blanket Jay had gifted to him. Xan was hyperventilating, his head spinning, it felt like the walls were closing in. The blanket was wrapped around his top half as he lay in a fetal position on the soft carpet. Xan's hand shook as he reached for Bear, clutching him to his chest. His breathing slowed to a manageable, less serious rate. He closed his eyes tightly and Bear's ear made its way into his mouth, he gently nibbled at the soft material for comfort.

Jay arrived home over an hour after he had last heard from Xan. As he closed the front door behind him he dropped his keys and shoes off at the door.

"Xan?" He called. But no answer.

He reached the living room but the scene that met him worried him a little. First thing he noticed was Xan's laptop was open and an email was left open. Jay sat on the sofa and turned it towards him so he could read what was left open. It struck him very quickly that it would have upset Xan greatly to read. His eyes then caught a dark patch on the carpet where Xan would have been sat if he was using the laptop.

"Xan?!" Jay was starting to get frantic.

He rushed around the rooms downstairs, poking his head through each doorway. He lept up the stairs in threes and bolted down the hallway. He saw his little one curled up in a ball, hidden under his blanket.

"Xan? Baby are you alright?" Jay said trying not to shout.

He scooped Xan up, blanket and all and sat with him in the cuddle chair.

"it's alright sweetie, i'm here now."

He stroked Xan's hair as the little one looked up at him with teary eyes.

"D..addy." He breathed out.

"Yes sweetie, I know. Shh now." Jay said soothing his little one, running his fingers through Xan's long hair.

Jay soothed Xan, knowing he was hurting. He must have been so upset by the email, he had wet while he was sat reading the laptop. Jay didn't know how long he had been curled up in his wet clothes, so decided on bathing his little one hoping it would help Xan relax and get him nice and clean.

"Come on sweetie let's get you in the bath."

Jay stood Xan up leaving the blanket in the cuddle chair and walked Xan to the bathroom. Xan sat on the closed toilet seat still suckling on Bear's ear, while Jay ran the water and added some bubble bath. He tried to pull Bear out of Xan's mouth, but he let out a hurt shrill whine.

"Okay. Shh shh, here." Jay hushed, holding a paci for Xan to latch onto.

Xan reluctantly let Bear go and swapped to the paci. Jay set Bear on the sink so he could watch him in the bath. He stood Xan up and gingerly undressed him before helping him into the tub. Xan let out a calming sigh as the warm silky water covered his legs. Jay held his hand and let him get used to the tempreture and feeling of the water. Xan had relaxed enough to let Jay help wash him. As he stood to get out Xan slipped, luckily Jay's strong arms were waiting to catch him.

"I've got you." Jay smiled.

Xan dried himself, but let Jay dry his hair for him which he then tied up into a bun. Xan was wrapped in a fluffy white towel as they walked to the bedroom, his paci still firmly bobbing between his lips. Xan laid himself on the changing mat gripping tightly to the towel. Jay smiled as he had the things he needed set out. He leaned over to stroke Xan's cheek, still seeing the sadness in his eyes.

"Let's get you dressed sweetie."

Jay unfolded the towel and set about diapered his little one up. He applied the rash cream to his bum then powdered and taped him up. Jay pulled out one of the onesies he had got for him with a blue and green spotted design. Once dressed, Jay threw off his work clothes and put them along with Xan's clothes into the washing hamper. Xan wandered into the bathroom following Jay.

"Up we go." Jay said lifting Xan. "Let's go and snuggle little one"

"Mmm!" Xan made a noise trying to get Jay to stop.

"What is it sweetie?"

Xan pointed to the sink where Bear was still sat. Jay chuckled and handed Xan his soft companion. Xan clung tight to Jay, he didn't want to let go. Jay attempted to put Xan down before making them a drink, but the younger man protested and kept his grip on Jay's shirt. Jay made drinks and grabbed some fruit for the two to nibble on.  
He sat on the sofa with his little one settling in his lap, still gripping tightly to him. Xan didn't want to watch anything or listen to anything. He just wanted to hold onto his Daddy, to feel his warmth and breathe in his comforting smell. The two fell asleep, Jay was tired after a busy day at the hospital and Xan could fall asleep anytime he was snuggling with Jay.

When Jay woke up Xan was gone, only his paci was left in Jay's lap. His head spun around checking the room. He hopped up in a mild panic. He coughed to clear his throat.

"Xan? Sweetie?" Jay called out.

"In here." Came a voice from the kitchen.

Jay's worry subsided and he breathed a sigh of relief. Jay went to the kitchen and was hit by a scent of something delicious.

"Ooh. That smells so good." Jay said stretching from his sleep.

"I wanted to make you something nice."

"Oh what's the special occasion?" Jay joked.

"Just to say thankyou for helping me today." Xan smiled.

Jay hugged the younger man. "You don't have to thank me sweetie, I will always look after you."

He held onto Jay "I'm sorry I had a panic attack, it..it was just.. a..a bit much an.." Xan stuttered and trailed off.

"Sweetie. It's fine, you can't help these things so no more apologising okay? Now, what are we eating? Im starving!" Jay assured his little one.

"I made you something yummy! I made you some Shogayaki, its pork with a sweet garlic ginger sauce." Xan stated proudly.

"Wow I .. I don't know if im more surprised by your cooking, or that I had enough in the fridge for you to make it."

Xan giggled loudly. Hearing it brought a warm feeling to Jay. The sound of Xan's genuine laugh is something he would always cherish. Jay sat at the kitchen table eagerly awaiting his dinner, loving watching Xan dance around the kitchen as he enjoyed his cooking.

Xan carefully plated the dinner up, to join the pork he had steamed some rice with a drizzle of soy sauce and a leafy salad. Jay was in heaven yet again. He had never had home cooked food this good before, when he lived at home his family weren't big on cooking often resorting to takeaways.

"Oh! Oh so tasty!." Jay announced. "I hereby appoint you as head chef for all cooking tasks in this house"

Xan chuckled, he loved to hear the praise Jay dished out. "Do I get a hat?" Xan joked.

"Yes you do and it shall say 'Worlds best little chef'." Jay smiled.

Xan chuckled and blushed hiding his face.

That evening Jay helped Xan unpack the last of his things, they kept his sofa and all of his art things in his new studio room. Jay didn't let on that he had already brought him some furniture though, that was still a secret for now. Jay put together Xan's CD unit while Xan sat showing Jay his favourite ones and telling him all about them. They also took the rest of his little items up to his playroom. One side of the room had his stuffed animal and the cuddle chair, the other had his diapers stacked up and in the corner were his onesies and little clothes all folded and piled up neatly. Jay had made mental notes of what furniture he wanted to get for the little room as they put all of Xan's things there. The changing mat had also made its way into the room. Some more of Xan's toys were also now in the room but they were lying all over the floor being played with because Xan had gotten sidetracked while putting things away.

Jay had tidied Xan's regular clothes away into a wardrobe and two free drawers that were avaliable in his chest of drawers. Once he finished he found his little one still playing happily. He sat down next to him watching him play and before long he was fully immersed. Xan put him in charge of building the stairs to the slide that the lego men would use to get to the dinosaurs party. They couldn't just walk there because the army men were marching around so they couldn't get through.

Jay wondered how he managed to come up with all these elaborate scenarios, but was enjoying helping out and watching his carefree little one enjoy playing. It reminded him how innocent Xan could be, how his little mindset could take him away from his struggles and put all his problems on hold allowing him to heal.


	6. Two Hearts, One Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay watches over his little one, Xan makes a confession

_The rain lashed against the window as the clock on the wall loudly ticked echoeing through the room. Xan is huddled in the corner behind the dark rigid chair trying to be as quiet as possible. As he breathed out, there are footsteps slowing approaching, causing Xan to gasp and hold his breath. 'Please no, please... no no no.' He thinks to himself. The footsteps get louder as the figure moves closer, Xan can hear her loud breathing and wheezing._

_"Come here!" The dark figure shouts._

_Xan's body starts to shake as the terror sets in._

_"Come here!!" The figure shouts again. She pulls the chair sending it flying into the wall, smashing apart. "I SAID COME HERE NOW!!"_

 

  
Jay is woken up by movement next to him in the bed. He lifts his head and looks over at Xan.

"Oh crap." Jay says quietly to himself.

Through his tired eyes in the dark room, he is still able see Xan, he is covered in sweat his head tossing from side to side as he whimpers. Jay sprints from the bed to the bathroom wetting a washcloth. He runs back in kneeling next to Xan's side of the bed, he holds the washcloth to Xan's forehead and puts his other hand to Xan's chest. Jay can feel Xan's heart thumping so fast.

"Shh shh shh, it's okay sweetie. Shh Daddy's here." Jay speaks softly to Xan.

Jay holds Xan still and strokes his cheek.

"Noooo!" Xan lets out a shrill painful yell.

His body convulses as he throws himself up into a sitting position and begins to cry.

"D..add.y!" He squeeks.

"Im right here baby, im here." Jay says as he wraps his arms around Xan.

He holds his little one tight as his sobbing subsides.

"You're okay, just a nasty dream. Everythings okay now little one." Jay reassures him.

Xan snuggled up to Jay, his nightmare now almost forgotten. To his surprise Xan was lifted up and out of bed. Jay could feel his clothing was damp from sweat and he was almost certain his diaper needed to be changed. Xan was whisked into the playroom and at lightning speed, his onesie was pulled off and his soggy diaper was changed for a fresh one. Jay helped him into a clean onesie and lifted him up again to carry him back to bed. Xan was still very tired because of the early hour and put up no ressistance. Jay laid back in bed with Xan laying on top of him, he was pretty sure Xan was asleep before they had even got to the bed. It didn't take long before they were both back in dreamland. 

After their nighttime trouble, the two slept soundly huddled in each others arms. Some time later Jay's alarm woke the pair. Jay gave Xan a kiss and Xan rolled off of him, curling up in the warm covers. Jay got out of bed and got himself ready for work. Once he washed his face, bushed his teeth and got himself changed, he went back to the bedroom to say goodbye to Xan. He stood over the bed stifling a chuckle as he saw Xan bundled up in the blanket with his hair sprawled out over both pillows. Jay bend over and kissed Xan on the cheek.

"See you later sweetie." Jay said quietly.

He turned to leave, hearing a faint 'bye' that made him smile and sent him happily off to his day at work. Xan woke up at just past 10, he grabbed his phone and rolled onto his back. The bright screen made him wince. As his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the day and his phone, then he was able to read the message from Jay.

"Hi sweetie   
I know it was a tough night but please eat and drink enough,  
I will be home at 5,  
Be good  
Love Daddy"

Reading the message made Xan feel loved, Jay was looking after him even though he was out. He shuffled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, he smirked at the state his hair was in. It took him more than 10 minutes to tame it and get it into the style he preferred. Xan brushed his teeth and went to get ready for the day. As he went into the playroom to change his diaper he noticed the diaper and onesie from last night disgarded on the floor.

Luckily for him seeing them didn't bring back the horrible memories from last night. Xan changed his diaper and disposed of it and the one from last night. He threw on some shorts and a tshirt and retrieved the onesie from the floor. He went around the house and picked up all the clothes he could find to wash. Xan carried them all down to the washing machine and put them in with powder. He flicked the machine on and it hummed to life. He then washed the dishes and wiped down the counters in the kitchen. He felt happy with himself as he looked around at the clean shiny kitchen. Xan wandered around the big house doing small chores and tidying up when his phone rang.

"Hiii" Xan answered excitedly.

"Hi sweetie, how's your day going?"

"Mmm I did the washing and did some cleaning."

"That's good. Did you have some lunch?" Jay asked.

"Have you had a busy day?" Xan was trying to change the subject.

"Xan." Jay said sternly. "You didn't answer the question, little one."

"Well... I.. didn't really, have anything yet." Xan replied feeling a little sad that he let Jay down.

"Well, good boy for telling me the truth." Jay's praise didn't ease Xan's dissapointment.  "Now then. Go to the kitchen and put your phone on loudspeaker. We will eat lunch together."

Xan obeyed and on Jays instructions made a sandwich and had some grapes for lunch while Jay ate the food he brought in the employee cafeteria. They chatted a little while they ate and once Jay had finished he encouraged Xan with lots of praise, knowing he had trouble eating on his own. Jay's lunch break was coming to an end and Xan had eaten a sufficient amount so they said their goodbyes.

Xan spent his afternoon organising his art room and hanging a couple of his canvases. After a little while though, he tired of tidying thiings up and wanted to play. He grabbed Bear and Max and poured his lego's out onto the floor of the playroom.

Jay spent the afternoon being busy as usual. He checked in on a couple of patients, but spent most of the time doing the tedious piles of paperwork that went along with being a doctor. He was just finishing up for the day when he though of a cute idea, a way to encourage Xan to eat among other things. He searched on the web and printed off a few pages. He pulled the pages from the printer and smiled as he viewed them. Jay tucked them in his bag and set off home for the day, bidding a good evening to everyone he ran into on his way out. 

"Xan, im home!" Jay called out as he closed the front door and hung up his coat.

Xan came barrelling down the stairs and hallway with a bright happy face and a paci in his mouth. He hugged Jay tightly. Jay's evening brightened just seeing his little one run toward him with open arms.

"Oh co'e look." Xan said dragging Jay along to his art room.

"Very tidy in here, oh! They look great." 

Xan smiled, then turned to Jay. "Will y'u he'p me hang 'he was'in' up?" 

"I think I can manage that." Jay said following Xan as he sped to the kitchen.

They hung the washing on the dryer together at one point engaging in a sock fight. After calling a truce and declaring himself the winner, Xan wanted to go back to his lego's.

"Of course sweetie, go play." Jay said.

Xan just gave him a pleading look.

"You want me to come too?" He asked.

Xan nodded with those big puppy dog eyes. Jay chuckled, he grabbed his laptop which had some work he needed to get finished and followed Xan up to the playroom. Xan looked back every few steps to make sure Jay was still following. As they got to the top of the stairs, he sped off to the lego's he had left out and jumped right back in to his story he created. Jay smirked as he had to step over Xan to get to the cuddle chair. Jay watched his little one play as he typed away on the laptop.   
It was only 30 minutes later when Xan stood infront of Jay shuffling his feet together, trying to build up the nerve to ask him something.

"What is it sweetie?" Jay asked looking up from his laptop.

"Um.. er... I nee... can.." Xan mumbled behind his paci.

"Sweetie do you need a change?"

Jay's question made Xan blush red. Jay smiled and closed the laptop putting it on the chair as he stood up. He took ahold of Xan's hand and led him over to the changing mat. Xan kept his head down, he lay on the mat and pulled Bear over his face to hide his embarrassment. Jay pulled off his shorts and untaped his diaper, pulling it away and folding it up. He wiped Xan clean and unfolded the new diaper.

"Lift up little one."

Xan lifted up and Jay slipped the new diaper under him. He sprinkled powder over him and taped him up. Jay left Xan's shorts off so he could check him easier later on. The two went downstairs to make a start on dinner. Bear was sat on the kitchen counter by the sink looking after Xan's paci, Jay was chopping vegetables and telling Xan about his day. Xan was cooking some chicken and adding different ingredients giving the dish bursts of flavour. Jay watched as Xan threw the vegetables along with rice into a pan, his mouth salivating at the prospect of soon tucking into the delicious smelling meal.

Jay pretty much licked the plate clean, which made Xan chuckle. It really made him feel proud that Jay liked his cooking and he enjoyed cooking even more now that he had someone to cook for. 

"My super little chef strikes again." Jay said feeling very satisfied.

Xan gave Jay a big smile. Jay sat for the next few minutes encouraging Xan to eat a big enough portion, he knew he was going to struggle because he ate a good lunch earlier.

"Good boy, last bite." Jay said holding a fork with a small piece of carrot for Xan to eat.

Xan accepted the carrot and Jay cleared away the plates. He also decided it was a good time to unveil what he had tucked in his work bag. Xan sat at the kitchen table finishing the juice in his sippy cup, when Jay sat down with a piece of paper in hand.

"What's that?" Xan asked feeling curious.

"Well... this is a sticker chart." Jay said laying it on the table infront of Xan. "On here we have all the different things you can do each day to earn a sticker. Like here the morning ones, see and daytime ones?" Jay explained the sticker chart to Xan. 

The morning section made sure Xan would brush his teeth, make the bed and have breakfast. The daytime chores were to take out the rubbish, eat lunch, tidy up his toys and look after Bear. Jay had made sure the chore chart had simple things that Xan mostly did anyway, but he made sure to include meals and some fun tasks to do too.

"Mmm but what do the stickers mean?" Xan asked.

"Well when you get enough stickers, you can trade them in for prizes." Jay said with a big smile seeing Xan's face light up. "A silver star for each one you complete. A gold star for every 10 silver stars you get. And when you have enough gold stars, you can use them for shopping or a day out or another treat that you choose."

Xan studied his new sticker chart, while he finished his juice. Jay sat watching Xan happy with his idea, hoping it would give Xan structure and encourage him to look after himself while Jay was busy with work. They finished their drinks and went to relax.

The two snuggled on the sofa watching silly tv programs. Xan laid with his head in Jays's lap as Jay ran his fingers through his long hair. It was one of Jay's favourite parts of Xan, he enjoyed the soft feel of Xan's smooth hair and it was a pleasurable feeling for Xan, it was very calming.

2 hours passed and they had changed position a number of times, they were now both laying down, Jay on his back with his head to the side watching the tv and Xan laying on his tummy facing Jay with his head nuzzled between Jay's neck aand chest. Jay stretched making an exaggerated noise. Xan leaned over kissed Jay softly on the lips.

"Ooo that was nice, what was that for?" Jay smiled up at him.

"Just because you make me so happy." Xan confessed.

"You're such a sweet boy." Jay said stroking Xan's hair.

Jay returned the kiss wrapping his arms around Xan. Xan's hand snaked its way into to Jay's shirt caressing his chest. The two were soon lost in passion, kissing deeply gently writhing against each other. Xan began to softly moan as the tension grew between them Jay taking control, sitting up and pulling Xan into his lap.

"Let's take this upstairs," Jay said standing up

He lifted Xan, carrying him up to their room. 

  
They lay in the bed, trying to catch their breath and holding hands. Jay lay on his side stroking Xan's chest.

"My beautiful boy." Jay said softly making Xan smile at him.

They looked into each others eyes, Xan with his hand on Jay's cheek.

"I love you, Jay" Xan confessed meaning it with all his heart.

"And I love you." 

He kissed Xan's soft lips. Jay's heart skipped a beat hearing Xan confess to him. Jay had felt ready to say those two words for a while but didn't know if he should tell Xan, he didn't know if he would be ready for it. But he was and now he knew the truth.


	7. Jenny Comes To Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys get a dinner guest

Knock Knock Knock.

The knocking at the door startled Xan, for a brief moment he thought Jay had forgotten something and had come back to get it. He bounded to the door and opened it up.

"Hi there we have a Delivery for Thompson." Said the burly man standing outside.

"Oh.. um yes." Xan said stumbling a little over his words.

"Where would you like it sir?" The man said politely.

"Err.. in the living room?" Xan replied a little unsure.

The delivery man was joined by a second larger delivery man. They each carried big heavy boxes slowly to the living room laying them down with a whump as they hit the floor. The larger delivery man left swiftly, returning just as quickly with a third large box.

"Can I get a signiture please?" The first delivery man asked Xan.

He scribbled his name on the paperwork and thanked the delivery men as they left. Xan looked at the boxes trying to figure out what was inside. He tried to move one of them but it was far too heavy for him. Puzzled, he messaged Jay to tell him he had a  delivery and to ask what it was.

J: Excellent, no peeking it's a surprise okay? Is it okay if Jenny comes over for dinner? I kind of told her how amazing it was and she would love to see you again.

X: Yeah! I'd like to cook for her, what would she like though? O_o?

J: Great i'll tell her! Anything you like sweetie she's not picky. X

Xan was a little nervous, they had only met once before and now he would be cooking for her. His nervousness soon faded as his love for cooking became the focus. He looked through the cupboards and fridge to see what they had. He decided on what he wanted to cook and wrote himself a shopping list for the things that were missing. He went upstairs to change his shorts for a pair of jeans and grabbed a thick jacket. Xan tucked his wallet into his pocket, grabbed his list and set off on the short walk to the supermarket.

He found the things off the list easily enough, then decided on picking up a dessert as they had a guest. He chose a sponge cream cake with an arrangement of strawberries on top. Xan's anxiety was pretty high throughout his shopping trip but he made it through. As he was walking home, Xan noticed a wet patch had started to appear on his jeans. Suddenly he felt scared, nervous and very little. It was only a 3 minute short walk home, but to Xan it felt like a marathon. He was sure people could see he had leaked, it felt like there was a big neon sign pointing to him as he walked down the quiet streets.

Xan slammed the front door closed, leaning against it with his eyes closed. He tried to control his breathing like Jay had once shown him. He stood with his eyes closed breathing deeply as his heart rate slowed and returned to normal. Breathing a sigh of relief, he finally took his shopping to the kitchen.  After he put his cake in the fridge he set off upstairs to clean himself up. The jeans and tshirt were tossed into the laundry hamper, his oversaturated diaper was put into a bag ready to take out to the bin. 

Xan washed himself and as the water hit his body so did his tears start to fall. He was frustrated and dissapointed in himself, his sadness grew and so did his self loathing. Xan wondered why Jay was even with him, why he liked someone who couldn't even stop himself from wetting and wetting until he leaked at that. Xan sat in the dark bathroom for little while by himself before the sad thoughts dissipated. He went to the playroom and diapered himself before putting on the shorts he had taken off before shopping. He pulled a tshirt over his head and grabbed a paci.

Jay's wednesdays were usually the slowest day of the week. Quite often he would find the days dragged on and now he had something in his life to get home to, time slowed to a snails pace. He had finished his paperwork and seen his patients, he now found himself searching the internet for things to buy Xan. Before he met Xan, he would look up news articles and search for expensives things he could buy for himself which he would usually end up selling again after a few days. He was now looking for furniture for Xan's playroom, cute stuffed animals and days out he could take his little one on. His smile was all the proof anyone needed to know just how truly happy he was now.

"Xan, Im home!" Jay called as the front door closed behind him.

Xan walked down the stairs with Bear in hand and cuddled Jay. 

"Everything okay?"

Xan nodded but Jay could tell Xan wasn't his happy bouncy self straight away. He didn't want to push it though, feeling it might upset the younger man. 

"Well then, shall we have a look at the sticker chart?" 

Xan's eyes lit up. He and Jay walked to the fridge where it was pinned up. Jay moved the magnets off so he could pick it up. 

"Okay! Lets go check." He said with a big smile

They started in the kitchen.

"Washing up, check. Bins empty, check. 2 stars." Jay said sticking the shiny silver stars on the chart.

"Yay!" Xan cheered. "Co'e check u'stairs." He said behind his paci.

He pulled Jay along, up the stairs to the bedroom. 

"Ooo bed made, check. Toys tidied, check." 

Jay stuck his head in the bathroom to check the laundry basket. He saw the jeans ontop with a clear wet patch on them. Sudden realization set in, Xan's flat mood when he came in made sense now. He was dissapointed and upset with himself because he had had an accident. Jay decided he would snuggle his boy extra tight later.

"Washing picked up, check! 3 more stars." Jay announced as he stuck them on Xan's chart.

Xan squealed in delight bouncing on the spot. He was elated that he had got so many stars already. He fumbled with his phone so he could show Jay the pictures of his breakfast and lunch.

"Hmm, they aren't very big mister." jay said a little concerned.

"Mmm bu' i'm cooki'g a 'ig dinner an' I wanted to eat lots wif' y'u." Xan tried to explain.

"Okay as long as you eat enough dinner tonight, i'll put on the 2 stars, deal?" Jay bargained.

Xan nodded happily. He had planned on the light lunch so he wouldn't look out of place at dinner when they had a guest over. They went back to the kitchen to put Xan's chart back on the fridge. 

"Oh!" Xan squeeked remembering.

He tugged on Jay's shirt to make him follow. He wanted to show Jay the big delivery he recieved. Jay looked the boxes over and stood them up.

"Oh... oof!" Jay groaned as he lifted the heavy boxes. "How did you manage to bring them in?"

"Deli'ery 'an." Xan replied with a chuckle

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Oh that'll be Jenny, can you let her in?" Jay asked.

Xan looked a little flustered and tried to give his paci to Jay for him to hide. Jay simply popped it back in Xan's mouth.

"No need to be shy sweetie, remember?" Jay said as he patted Xan's head.

Xan nodded and went off to let Jenny in.

"Hiya munchkin, can I come in?" Jenny said with a bright smile. "Is Jay home?"

Xan nodded and showed Jenny in to the living room where Jay was fumbling around with the delivery.

"Hi Jen, how are you?" Jay asked as they hugged.

They chatted about their days and how each other were. Xan shuffled over to Jay and hid his face against Jay. 

"Someone's a little shy." Jay whispered wrapping his arm around Xan.

Xan tugged on Jay's shirt and whispered to him that he was going to start cooking.

"Do you need any help sweetie?" 

Xan shook his head and Jay kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be in shortly, to check okay?" Jay said.

Xan prepared the chicken and the oil ready for frying. He put together the ingredients for the sauce. He was making chicken in orange sauce, a dish he had only done once before but hadn't made for Jay yet. 

Jay was showing Jenny the new things he had brought for Xan's art room. 

"He was so cute opening the door with that paci and smile" Jen said.

"I know." Jay smiled. "He asked me to hide it, but I knew he still wanted to use it and you would be fine with it."

Once they had set up the shelves and the easels, they stood back to look at their work.

"You are going to spoil him rotten, y'know?" Jenny said with a smile.

"I know." Jay replied.

They both laughed.

"Let's go see how the munchkin is doing. I can smell something tasty."

The chicken was fried, the sauce was ready and the rice was steamed. Jay and Jenny came in just as Xan was chopping some spring onion and serving up the dinner.

"Wow!" Jenny said as she saw Xan's creation.

Jay hugged Xan and kissed his cheek. "It looks wonderful sweetie."

"It's Chinese Orange Chicken." Xan announced as he placed it before them on the dining table.

A chorus of oo's, aah's and mmm's rang out as they all tucked into dinner. Jenny was uncharacteristically quiet during dinner. Once she had finished though she had only praise for little chef and when Jay chimed in, the younger man blushed a bright red. 

True to his word Xan ate a good portion of dinner and once he had finished he stood and gave Jay his sticker chart. He was feeling much more confident around Jenny now that things had settled.

"Okay, you did very well. 2 stars, like we agreed." Jay said as he placed two more silver stars on the chart.

Xan's face was all smiles as he re-affixed it to the fridge. The two friends at the table began to get up.

"Wait!" Xan called, making the two stop where they were. "I have dessert."

"Wow, now who's spoiled?" Jay said looking at Jenny.

"Shut up you." She said nudging Jay. "I would love some munchkin, thankyou."

Xan's face lit up as he took the cake box out of the fridge. He placed in infront of Jay, so that Jay would slice it and dish it out. He plonked three small plates and three forks next to the box and handed Jay a large knife. Jay opened up the box, as he did both him and Jenny let out a satisfied 'Ooo'. 

"Wow munchkin, you got this just because I was coming over?" Jenny asked.

Xan nodded with a smile. "And for you." He said looking at Jay.

"Thankyou Xan, you're such a sweetie." Jay said.

The three eagerly tucked in to their fresh cream sponge, quickly finishing each of their slices. Xan packed it up and put the leftovers back in the fridge. 

"Xan." Jay called making the young man spin around. "Me and Jenny have something to show you." Jay smiled. "While you were cooking that wonderful dinner for us, we put together some things in your art room. Shall we go and see?"

Xan nodded and followed them to his art room. He was very intrigued, was this what was in  the delivery? Why was it so heavy? Soon he stood in the doorway to the room and looked around with wide eyes and amazement. In the once bare room, stood a large shelving unit where he could store all his art supplies, a brand new easel standing freely looking like a catalog picture and a wide desk that reached almost the length of one wall. 

"Y..you.. b..rought me new.. art s..stuff?" Xan said in complete astonishment.

"Of course, every studio needs these right?" Jay beamed at his little artist.

Xan was overcome with emotion, he wrapped his arms tightly around Jay and squeezed him tight. Jenny looked on as the two lovers embraced. Happy tears filled Xan's eyes.

"Th..thankyou! Thankyou so much!" He called out.

Jay lifted his little one up in a tight cuddle. They went to sit on the sofas to relax after their big delicious meal. Jay sat with Xan on his lap, still tightly attached to his neck. The three chatted away for quite a while. As time went on Xan became more comfortable in Jenny's presence and as  he did, his little side came out. He stood by Jay and tugged on his sleeve. Xan looked at Jay with a pouty bottom lip.

"Whats up sweetie?" Jay asked.

Xan just let out a whine and pulled on his sleeve. He looked down at his shorts then looked into Jay's eyes.

"Okay." Jay chuckled. He whispered to Jenny and winked. "Just a quick clean up."

Jay led Xan by the hand up to the playroom.

"You're such a good boy for asking for a change." Jay said as he cleaned his little one up.

"Miss Jenny doesn't mind?" Xan asked.

"No sweetie, she knows you wear diapers and she doesn't mind." Jay reassured him.

"So I can take Bear downstairs?" He asked looking up at Jay with those innocent eyes.

"Of course, he must be lonely staying up here. Im sure he'd rather sit with us." Jay said with a chuckle as he pulled Xan's shorts back up. "Do you want your paci too?"

"Mmmm... not sure." 

After Xan's unsure answer, Jay put one in his pocket incase he wanted it later. Xan happily skipped down the hall and downstairs following Jay back to where Jenny was. Jay sat on the sofa in his comfy spot and Xan sat at his feet with Bear in his lap.

"Ah, there you are! I wondered where you two went." Jenny said feigning surprise. "How about we watch this dvd I brought over?"

Xan looked at Jenny with big wide eager eyes. "What is it?"

Jenny put the movie in and turned to Xan. "One of my favourites, Paddington."

Xan clapped his hands together, seemingly happy with Jenny's choice. Jay and Jenny chatted quietly while the movie played. It didn't take long for Xan to hop up on the sofa and snuggle up to Jay, making his boyfriend smirk. He didn't think it would take long before Xan would want to snuggle. Jay subtly took the pacifier from his pocket and set it on his knee. In no time at all it was comfortably inbetween Xan's lips.


	8. A Little Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xan and Jay visit the studio, also Jenny and Daisy come over for lunch

It was a very tough morning for Xan, he had been asked to check his studio to see if there was anything salvageable. Jay had the day off work and he wanted to be the one to take Xan and make sure he was alright. Jay thought about trying to persuade Xan out of going to the studio, but second guessed it, hoping it would bring him closure. Xan had been rather quiet during breakfast and had eaten very little. Jay didn't push him at all, knowing he didn't need anymore upset with the difficult task ahead.

Jay helped Xan get ready, doing most of the work for him and humming to him in an attempt to keep Xan relaxed. In the car, Jay put on Xan's favourite rock station and spoke about different things he saw out of the window. It worked a little, easing Xan and getting him to engage with Jay. They pulled up to the ruined building and Jay swiftly took control. He got Xan unbuckled and walked with him to the building manager who was waiting for them at the entrance. Xan stared into the blackened building as Jay spoke to the manager in his place. They were shown into the room that was once Xan's prized studio.

The door was missing and the charcoal frame was flaking as it dried. As they looked into the room, one of the walls had been completely destroyed and you could see straight through into the next room and even the one after that. The walls and ceilings were a wash of black and brown waves where the fire had once licked at them. Xan's canvases were now small burnt sticks littering the room. There was a desk still standing in the far corner, two canvases were laid ontop, but the art was now unrecognisable. A single sketchbook was underneath the desk, laying under the remnants of a blanket. Xan wandered over to it, almost tripping on the uneven floor a number of times as he scrambled to get across the room. 

"Slow down sweetie, be careful!." Jay said as he managed to stop him from falling each time.

Xan clumsily grabbed at the charred book. He wiped away some of the debris from the desk and placed the opened book onto it. Up until now Xan had been impassive and kept all his emotions at bay. But as he opened up the sketchbook he couldn't hold back any longer. Tears burst from his eyes as he looked down at the pages of his sketchbook. The whole scene was heart wrenching for Xan.

Jay grabbed Xan holding him in a tight cuddle. "It's okay, shh, good boy. You did so good sweetie." He lifted Xan up into his arms. "I've got you."

Jay whisked Xan out of the building, grabbing the sketchbook before he left. He plopped him in the front seat and fastened him in. Xan sat with his head down, crying into his lap. Jay buckled his own seatbelt and pulled a hidden paci from his pocket, to pop in Xan's mouth. Jay always had one handy these days, for the times when Xan needed. He drove quickly home with his sobbing little man was slumped next to him. They pulled into the driveway and Jay carried Xan inside. He took Xan straight up to the playroom and lay him on the change mat. Xan's crying had slowed but the tears still flowed from his eyes. 

"Oh dear. Lets get you cleaned up sweetie." Jay said seeing the state of Xan's soggy diaper.

The stress had again taken its toll on Xan's unpredictable bladder and the upsetting morning had practically pushed Xan into a regression. Jay changed his diaper and taped a fresh, thicker one on in it's place. He then helped Xan into a onesie and wiped away his tears as he held him in his lap. They snuggled together, Jay rubbing his little one's back to stop his crying.

"Good boy. Shh now." Jay said as he placed a kiss to Xan' s temple.

Xan cuddled up to Jay as he lifted him up. Xan squeaked and reached out for Bear. Jay chuckled as he handed his little one, the soft white fluffy friend. He carried Xan to the bedroom, so he could get himself changed. Xan sat on the bed with bright eyes as he watched Jay.

"Jenny and Daisy are coming for lunch soon. That will be fun right?" Jay asked.

He smiled behind his paci and nodded in agreement. Xan took ahold of his hair and made a noise to get Jay's attention. 

"What's up sweetie?" Jay spun around to look at Xan holding his hair. "You want me to tie it up for you?" 

Xan nodded with those sparkly eyes looking up at Jay. It was evidently clear to Jay that Xan was in a regression where he didn't feel comfortable speaking. Jay felt a little dejected, the difficult morning must have been harder on Xan than he thought. He tied his hair up for him and stroked Xan's smooth chin.

"All done, little one."

Xan hoped off the bed and made his way into the playroom. He sat and played with his soft toys, while Jay stood in the doorway watching. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to check his messages.

Jen: Hey, are you guys home? We are getting ready to leave.

Jay: Yeah we're home, uh Xan is pretty regressed, will that be an issue?

Jen: Aww little munchkin, no, no problem. I'll make sure Daisy behaves haha

Jay went to the kitchen to get some food and drinks ready for their guests arrival. He laid things out on the table and brewed some fresh coffee and sliced up some salad. Xan was still happily playing when Jay came back to check on him.

"Are you ready to come downstairs sweetie?" Jay said patting Xan's soft hair.

He looked up at Jay and pointed to his soft toys he was playing with.

Jay nodded. "You can bring them." 

Xan picked up Bear and Max, then tried to pick up Plodd the dino, his big blue shark, Pluto and Stitch. But dropped them all back down, he stomped his foot in frustration and let out an annoyed 'humph'.

"I can help carry them, silly boy." Jay said scooping the fallen toys.

Xan sped off downstairs to get his seat ready, pulling one of the sofa cushions onto the floor next to the coffee table. Jay put each soft friend down around Xan as he went right back to playing. Jay kissed Xan on the top of his head and stood looking down at his little one. He knew Xan was hurting inside and he needed to be looked after so he could deal with his difficult day.

Jay texted the situation to Jenny, he ran by her the events of the morning. Jay always worried when it came to Xan and was being over protective. Xan looked up at Jay sitting on the sofa then climbed and wiggled his way over to him.

"Hey cutie pie." Jay said, setting his phone aside as he saw Xan.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

Went the door to Daisy's usual rhythmic over the top way of knocking. Jay stood with Xan holding tightly to him.

"Shall we go let them in?" Jay asked rhetorically.

"Hey Jay!" Daisy greeted the same way she did each time. She took a liking to it because it rhymed.

"Hi Daisy, welcome." Jay said with a happy smile.

Jay and Jenny greeted each other exchanging a brief hug.

"Hiya munchkin." Jenny said to Xan.

Xan buried his face in Jay's neck feeling a little shy. Jay smirked and rubbed Xan's back.

"Why don't we go to the table and start on lunch?" Jay suggested.

They all made their way into the kitchen. Daisy threw her backpack down, jumped in a seat and patted the one next to her for Jenny to join her. Jay uncoupled Xan's arms from around his neck and plopped him in his usual seat. Xan laid his head on his arms looking at their guests.

"You alright there munchkin?" Jenny asked cocking her head the same way Xan was.

Xan nodded, flashing a smile at Jenny.

"Huuuungryy." Daisy sang.

Jay chuckled. "Here, tuck in." He said as he placed plate after plate of food on the table.

Daisy snatched at the food, earning a warning from Jenny. Three at the table ate their fill with little fuss, tucking into sandwiches, crisps, salad and fruits. Xan however, was really struggling. His small appetite today was virtually non-existant and he especially didn't want to give up the comfort of his paci. Jay managed to pry it away for a few small moments and persuade Xan to eat a few pieces of fruit. 

"Im done!" Daisy announced. "Can I go play now?"

Jenny agreed and went with her to the coffee table, three seconds later a huge amount of pens and crayons littered the top of the table with just enough space for her colouring book to fit. Back in the kitchen, the fight to feed Xan was still in full swing. Jay tried making aeroplane sounds, silly faces and everything else he could think of. After some time Jay realized his little one had hit the wall and was starting to get very fussy.

"Okay sweetie." He said planting a kiss to his forehead. "We're finished for now."

Jay cleared away the food, then turned to Xan holding out his hand. They walked to the living room to meet up with Jenny and Daisy.

"Look! What do you think?" Daisy said excitedly showing off her colouring to Jay.

"Very nice, lots of colours." Jay chuckled.

Xan flopped down back with his stuffed friends. Jay and Jenny talked a little, Daisy had set her colouring aside and was flicking through the tv channels at lightning speed.

"Dase, choose something please. Don't keep skipping through like that." Jenny reprimanded her hyper little.

"Uggh but they're all so boooring."

"You can look for a movie if you'd like." Jay offered trying to appease Daisy.

Jay sat watching over Xan as Daisy finally found a movie that suited her. She jumped up leaving her pens and crayons all over the place and leapt onto the sofa next to Jenny. Xan was laying on his stomach still playing and cuddling with his stuffies, while the others watched Emperors New Groove. It was only 10 minutes in when Daisy paused it and told Jenny she needed a wardrobe change. She grabbed her backpack and pulled out a caped onesie. Giggling she ran off to change into her 'super' onesie.

Jay looked down at Xan. "Are you having fun little one?"

Xan turned around and held out Pluto for Jay to take.

"Thankyou." Jay smiled back.

Xan got up to give Jay a cuddle.

Daisy came back and jumped in front of them all and yelled "Ta Da!"

Jenny and Jay chuckled as Daisy got comfy back on the sofa next to Jenny, before pressing play. The four of them were sat watching the movie, Jenny and Daisy cuddled up at one end of the sofa and Jay sitting with Xan's head in his lap at the other. Xan was dozing sucking away on his pacifier. He wasn't paying much attention to the movie but then as the movie neared it's end Xan came out of his daze and tugged on Jay's sleeve a little rapidly.

"What's up baby?" Jay asked as he noticed an anxoius look on Xan's face.

"Pee-yeww! What's smelly?" Daisy blurted out.

Xan felt ashamed and started to cry straight away. Jay was equally shocked, but jumped into action, lifting him up in one quick motion and carrying him off to the playroom.

"Daisy! That was not nice to shout out was it?" Jenny scolded her.

Daisy had a shocked expression on her face as she started to get upset. "I.. didn't mean... to make anyone cry." Her lip started to quaver.

Upstairs Jay had cleaned Xan up and was snuggling him in the cuddle chair, gently rocking him. 

"Shh baby, it's okay. Hold onto Daddy. There we go." Jay held his little one tight, peppering him with kisses. "All nice and clean."

Xan's sniffling ceased and before long he had started to drift off to sleep. It had been a trying day for Xan, between the studio visit and the accidents he was emotionally exhausted. Daisy and Jenny gingerly made their way to the playroom, standing at the door. Jenny nudged Daisy prompting her to speak.

"Um.. Jay." She started, shuffling forward looking down at her feet. "Im sorry I upset Xan, I didn't mean to make him cry, I didn't think about peoples feelings before I spoke." She said like they had rehearsed. Jenny patted her shoulder, letting her know she did a good job.

"Thankyou for saying sorry. He's just had a hard day and was a little more emotional than usual." Jay said.

"Good girl. Now go pack up your things, i'll be down in just a minute." Jenny instructed.

"How's the munchkin doing?" Jenny said quietly to Jay.

"He's calmed down, but I've never seem him this regressed before and im a little worried. He's never messed by accident before and he was just so sad." Jay said feeling troubled.

"Relax Jay, he is comfortable enough around you to be like this and he needs to in order to deal with these hard times. He has been through so much these few weeks anyone would struggle. You don't have to worry or do anything except be there for him and care for him. You're doing great." Jenny's words soothed Jay's anxieties. 

Jay breathed a little sigh of relief. "Thankyou. I needed to hear that." 

"I know, we all need to hear we're doing the right thing sometimes." Jenny said giving Jay a genuine smile. "Right we're going to make a move okay? You stay snuggled up."

Jay chuckled. "Alright. Thanks for coming, it was really nice seeing you two."

Jenny went downstairs and a minute or two later Jay heard the door close. He smiled to himself, it was a nice lunch after all. Xan had his eyes closed and he was comfortable, snuggled on Jay's lap. He needed the physical warmth and Jay's touch. Jay soon found himself falling asleep with his arms wrapped around Xan, the two snoozed away into the afternoon safe in the cuddle chair.


	9. To Nap Or Not To Nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A time out, leads to dinner out

It was almost two hours later when Jay woke up, Xan was sat looking at him.

"Hi." Xan said with a sleepy voice.

"Hi sweetie, did you have a nice nap?" Jay asked him.

Xan nodded and slid off of Jay's lap.

"Do you need a change sweetie?"

"No." Xan answered quickly.

"Hmm, come let me check little one."

Xan came back and let Jay check him.

"Sweetie, your wet." Jay said a little dissapointed. "Let's get you changed okay?"

Jay changed Xan's wet diaper and cleaned his little one up. Jay noticed his little one was a bit grumpy, but decided not to mention it. He didn't want anymore upset today. Once Xan was changed and dressed, he stood up.

"I want to colour. Can I go colour?" Xan asked rubbing his eyes.

"Of course baby." Jay kissed Xan on the head.

Jay was feeling a little bewildered. He never woke up before Xan, as he woke up his mind began to think more rationally. Maybe Xan hadn't been to sleep. Jay stretched and decided to keep an eye on him, while he worked out what was up with Xan.

Jay went to the kitchen to clear up from their lunch. He tidied away the rubbish and washed the plates and cutlery. He decided to make himself and Xan a snack because he didn't have very much lunch at all. It could be he didn't feel comfortable eating infront of other people. So Jay made them a plate of cut up brownie and fruit pieces.

He set the plate on the coffee table and knelt next to Xan, who was colouring away on his masterpiece.

"Ooo looks good, cutie pie."

Xan turned and smiled at him. "You like it?" His voice still sounded tired and Jay noticed a little bit of a tiredness in his eyes.

"I do! When you finish, would you like to put it up on the fridge?"

"Yeah!" Xan exclaimed.

Jay let Xan finish his colouring, before he would try to get him to eat. Once he finished, he sat back and looked at it. Then wiggled up closer to Jay. Jay put his arm around his little artist and cuddled him. He took a bite of brownie himself, to see if Xan would look interested.

"You want to eat some sweetie?"

"No thankyou." Xan said turning his head away.

"But you didn't have much lunch, aren't you hungry?" Jay was trying to push it a little.

Because Xan needed to eat, but he just shook his head and pushed the plate as far away as he could reach.

"Sweetie, don't do that. You need to eat a little something and i'll help you eat these up." Jay said pulling the plate back and taking another bite.

"No!"

"Xan, we do not shout at Daddy." Jay reprimanded his grumpy boy.

Xan was feeling frustrated and sulky. He didn't want to eat, he was upset that Jay told him off and he was overtired.

"Nooo!" Xan pushed the plate and it flew over the table.

As the plate tipped over the fruit and brownie fell onto the table top making a mess.

"Xan!" Jay said loudly. "That is very naughty!"

Xan's face was a mix of shock and upset as he jumped to his feet.

Jay stood up tall. "I think you need a timeout mister."

He took Xan by the hand and led him to the corner of the room. Xan had tears in his eyes, but he knew he had pushed it too far.

"Stand right here and think about what you did wrong. I will come and tell you when you can leave." Jay said in a stern tone.

He stood facing the corner of the room feeling a little sorry for himself. He sniffed holding back the tears. Jay tidied up the loose fruit and pieces of thrown brownie, popping one in his mouth. He wiped the coffee table clean and went into the kitchen. He stood at the sink eating the brownie and fruit, keeping an eye on Xan to make sure he stayed where he was told. He had never had to punish Xan before and eventhough it was a small punishment, it felt a little different. But if he was going to be his Daddy when Xan was in littlespace, he would have to work out some suitable punishments.

He looked at the clock and back at Xan. When it hit the 10 minute mark, he went over to relieve him. He patted Xan on the shoulder and turned him around.

"Sorry." Xan said softly, looking down at his feet.

Jay knelt down infront of Xan. "I want you to tell me what you're sorry for."

"Mmm... sorry for shouting and knocking the food over." Xan answered.

"Good boy. Apology accepted."Jay said patting Xan's head. "Now I want to ask you something. Did you go to sleep earlier, When Daddy did?" Jay asked. He was pretty sure of the answer already.

Xan shook his head.

"I thought that might be the case. That's why I have a grumpy boy huh?"

Xan shuffled his feet together, feeling shy.

"Okay. Up we go." Jay lifted Xan up and carried him to their bed. "We'll lay here and cuddle, while you have a little sleep okay baby?"

"Im sorry."

"I know you are."

They lay in the cozy bed with Jay taking the place of the big spoon, stroking Xan's long hair. It didn't take Xan long to drift off to sleep. Jay stayed snuggled up to his little one, partly for comfort and partly to make sure Xan had a good nap so he would wake up rested.

When Xan woke up, he stretched out letting out a moan.

"Hi sleepy boy." Jay grinned.

"Hi Daddy." Xan smiled

He wrapped his arms around Jay and kissed him on the lips.

"Do we have to get up?" Xan pouted.

"Im afraid so, time to make some dinner."

"Ooo im hungry, what are we having?" Xan asked.

Jay was so happy to hear that. So happy infact that he wanted to take Xan out.

"How about we go out to eat?" Jay suggested, starting to get excited. "My treat."

Xan cheered. He loved going out with Jay, he was nervous in public when he was alone but when he was with Jay, it gave him the confidence he needed. Jay tickled Xan's belly making the little one squeal and giggle.

"Let's get ready then, yeah?"

Xan bounced out of bed making Jay chuckle. He went and laid on the change mat, ready to be changed.

"Eager are we?" Jay smirked, seeing his little one laying down ready.

"Mhmm, can we have BBQ?" Xan asked.

"We can have BBQ if you would like to."

Jay smiled and changed Xan's damp diaper. He put him in a thinner one, so it wouldn't show so much when they were out. Xan jumped up and bounded off to the bedroom to choose his outfit. Jay went to the bathroom, he washed up and shaved his face. Looking at his now smooth face in the mirror, making sure he had not left any stray hairs. When he returned to the bedroom, Xan hadn't made much progress, he had managed to put on a pair of his favourite skinny jeans and Jay couldn't help but smirk at the diaper waistband poking out of the top.

He patted Xan on the bum as he went past to his wardrobe. Jay took out a pair of trousers, a shirt and jacket and had them all on while Xan was still trying to decide which shirt he wanted to wear. Jay adjusted his collar and his belt in the mirror.

"How are you getting on sweetie?"

Xan was stood infront of his mirror holding one shirt infront, then quickly swapping another shirt and back and forth. "Hmm... I don't know."

"Need some help?" Jay offered.

Xan nodded, sticking out the pouty bottom lip. He held each one out for Jay to see.

"I like this one." He said pointing to the lilac coloured one.

Xan agreed, put on the chosen shirt and checked back in the mirror. After deciding it was acceptable, he went into the bathroom to brush and spray his hair. Then added a little brush of foundation and a light coloured lip gloss.

"Ready!" Xan announced and showed himself off to Jay.

"Very cute." Jay smiled, kissing Xan. "My beautiful boy."

Xan melted hearing Jay compliment him.

"Come on cutie, lets go eat."

Jay pulled Xan's jacket around him as they both put on their shoes. They got into Jay's SUV, Jay buckled Xan in and they drove to one of Xan's favourite restaurants. When they parked up Xan practically dragged Jay along into the restaurant. Jay smiled and hoped his eagerness would mean Xan would eat a big dinner.

"Hi! Can we have a table for two please?" Xan spoke confidently to the waitress.

Jay happily followed Xan as the waitress led them to their table. He was proud of Xan, even speaking in public was difficult for him when they first met and now he was confident enough to talk to the waitress and take charge. He scooted over on the big curvy seat next to Xan.

"What do you fancy today?" Jay asked.

Xan looked at the menu. "Mmm imma have..." He paused reading the menu. "The mixed BBQ platter wiiiitth the curly fries."

"Wow that was fast, sounds yummy." Jay was so happy, it was working.

They ordered their food, Xan again was confident enough to order his own which just made Jay swell with pride. They made small talk a little until their food arived. Jay watched as Xan tucked into his dinner. Jay ordered the chicken grill with fries and salad, he took his first bite and out of the corner of his eye he saw Xan looking over at him.

"Would you like to try some sweetie?"

"I can try some?" Xan said a little shocked.

"Of course, here" Jay held out his fork and Xan took a bite of his chicken.

"Oh! It's really good." He smiled. "Here try my one."

Xan cut a piece of brisket for Jay to eat.

"Mmm very nice, thankyou."

Xan managed to finish his whole dinner, much to Jay's delight with no prompting or bargaining. Jay had already finished his as he watched Xan eat the last few pieces of barbecued meat.

"That was so yummy." Xan exclaimed.

"Good." Jay smiled at Xan. "How about dessert?"

Xan smiled and looked at the menu. "Mmm can we share one?"

"Of course we can, which one should we have?"

Xan studied the menu, but couldn't decide which one he liked the sound of best. He passed over the menu to Jay with a little bit of a sigh. Jay kept it on the table between them.

"How about this one? Sounds nice."

"Yeah, I want that one too!" Xan said with a cheerful chirp.

Jay ordered their dessert and turned back to Xan who was squirming in his seat.

"Are you okay sweetie?"

"I have to pee." He whispered.

"Okay, let's go to the bathroom. Come on."

Jay briskly made his way through the restaurant, pulling Xan along by his hand. They went into the disabled toilet. By now Xan was practically dancing, Jay helped him undo his jeans.

"Hold on, sweetie. Hold it." Jay reminded him.

He untaped Xan's diaper and pulled it away then helped Xan sit on the toilet. Jay turned his back so as not to make his little one self conscious. Jay smiled to himself, it had been a great evening so far. Xan had been so confident, knew what he wanted for dinner, he had eaten a good meal and had even had control over his bladder to some degree.

"Finished!" Xan announced standing up.

"Good job!" Jay said as he helped Xan get his diaper back on.

Xan pulled his jeans up and Jay buckled his belt for him.

Jay kissed Xan stroking his cheek. "Im so proud of you."

Xan blushed, hearing Jay say these things made his chest flutter. They walked back to the table hand in hand, just as they sat back down the waitress brought their dessert out.

"Ah perfect timing." Jay said as he gazed down at the bowl of eton mess sundae that was placed infront of them.

The two boyfriends tucked in, enjoying the ice cream, summer berries, crunchy meringue pieces, whipped cream and strawberry sauce drizzled over the top. Mmm's and ahh's filled the air around the table as they enjoyed their shared treat. The smile imprinted on Xan's face meant more to Jay than anything.


	10. Xan's Busy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xan puts a large workload on himself

Xan had spent the morning doing all of the chores that he could manage. He darted from kitchen to bathroom and every room inbetween. He was trying to finish everything he could before lunch, so that he could spend the rest of the day painting. The busy morning made him unusually hungry as it came to lunchtime. He ate quickly, leaving the plate on the table with just the crust and crumbs left.

He set out his paints and brushes, his canvas and his water. He pulled his hair up into a bun, meaning his meant business. With a quick CD choice and a glance at the pictures of inspiration he had pinned up, he started to sketch. 

That evening as Jay got out of his SUV and walked to the front door, he could hear Xan's music playing inside and it made him smile.

"Xan, i'm home!" Jay called over the volume of the music.

"In here!" He called from the studio room.

"What's my little artist up t...... Wow!" Jay was shocked, he turned down the music. "Someone's been busy."

In the room, there were 5 different sized canvases drying in different areas of the room. By the window Xan stood with his palette in one hand and brush in the other working on a 6th camvas. As he put his pallete and brush down, he turned to face Jay. Xan looked exhausted, there were beads of sweat on his forehead and he had splotches of paint over his arms, hands and on his tshirt. 

"Hi, did you have a good day?" Xan asked with a smile.

"I did." Jay cuddled him. "But not as productive as you, sweetie." 

Jay looked around at the room full of newly painted canvases, wondering how Xan managed to do them all in one day. 

"I'm going to get out of these work clothes, want to change too?" Jay asked.

"I'll just finish this last bit, then i'm done for today." 

"Alright, but don't wear yourself out okay?" 

Xan nodded and went back to his half fininshed painting. Jay went upstairs, tossed his clothes in the hamper, had a quick wash and went into the bedroom to change. Jay's mind was turning again. Why had Xan painted so many, so quickly? It wasn't Xan's usual process, he was very much a perfectionist when it came to his art, he would usually spend a few day's on a single painting and he preffered the larger sizes. But all the canvases downstairs were A4 or A3 size. Something just didn't fit.

"Xan, do you want a drink or something to eat?" Jay asked as he came down the stairs.

"Can I have a drinky please."

"Coming right up."

Jay set the cup of juice down on the desk next to Xan. 

"You did lots of painting today, sweetie." Jay said fishing for the reason behind his burst of productiveness.

"Yeah, I got some commisions online."

"Oh?" Jay wanted to know more.

"Im finished for now." Xan said standing back and looking at his work. "Phew!" He exclaimed wiping his brow.

"Well my busy bee, shall we get you cleaned up?" 

"Yeah." Xan agreed with a smile.

Xan hugged Jay, practically falling into his arms. He took Xan by the hand upstairs to the bathroom. Xan pulled off his tshirt and dropped it into the laundry basket. He sat slumped on the closed toilet seat as Jay wet a washcloth and wiped away the drips and smears of paint that had landed all over him.

"Thankyou." Xan said quietly as Jay finished cleaning his arms.

"You're welcome sweetie."

Jay helped his little one to his feet and gave him a big squeeze, before leading him once again, into the playroom. Xan lay on the change mat, with Bear snuggled against his cheek as Jay changed him into a fresh diaper. Xan got himself dressed into one of his tshirts with a cute animal print and a pair of light blue shorts.

Jay made himself a coffee and Xan some apple juice in the kitchen, while Xan sat on the sofa looking through a pizza menu. 

"Fancy a takeaway tonight?" Jay asked as he put the drinks down on the coffee table.

"Yeah, it's kind of late already and I didn't start cooking."

They chose which ones they would like and Jay ordered over the phone. They sat snuggled up as Jay told Xan about his day, well as much as was necassary. Xan didn't need to hear the yucky parts. They were interrupted when the door knocked. Jay went to stand up, but Xan jumped up before him and ran off to the door.

"Sweetie? My wallet is here." Jay called after him.

"It's okay, I don't need it." Xan replied. 

He came back with their pizzas and handed Jay's his. 

"Thankyou, ooh smells good." Jay said as he lifted the lid. 

They tucked in as they watched one of their favourite programs together on tv. Jay happily watched and ate slice after slice, while Xan was snuggled next to him working away on his own pizza. He was slower than Jay but when he had finished he had eaten a fair amount, while Jay only had a single slice left. Pushing the boxes away they snuggled closer on the sofa. Xan's thumb made its way into his mouth, a telltale sign he was getting tired. 

Jay twirled Xan's hair while they watched some nature shows.

"Sweetie?" 

"Mmm?" Xan murmured in response.

"How about I take you shopping tomorrow and we can buy you some more canvases and art things?" Jay suggested happily.

"No... I mean, thankyou but.. I.. can't yet." Xan stumbled over his words.

"Are you sure? You haven't got many left sweetie. We can pick some up, it's no problem."

"I don't have any money yet." Xan said feeling a little ashamed.

"I'll buy them silly. We can get some sketchbooks too if you like and pick up some..." Jay was cutoff.

"It's too much!" Xan looked at Jay with a tear starting to roll down his cheek.

"Baby, whats wrong?" 

"I... I.. c..can't pay you back." Xan said through tears. "I.. don't have enough... money yet... I'm trying... to.. get... so I can pay the bills.. b..but.." Xan handed Jay his wallet as he fumbled over his words. "Th..this is all I c..could get."

Jay looked at his little one and squeezed him tight in a cuddle.

"Shh.. shh. You don't have to pay me silly." Then the realization hit Jay. "Sweetie, is this why you worked so hard today? to try to raise money to pay me back?"  
Xan nodded as the tears dripped off of his face.

"Oh Xan, I buy you things as presents, you don't have to pay me back." Jay said sympathetically. "Sweetie, I get paid enough from my job that I can live comfortably and pay my bills, you don't need to give me anything."

"B..but.. I.. n.." Xan couldn't get his words out.

"Sweetie, if you feel you need to contribute, we will work something out okay?" Jay said stroking Xan's hair as his face was pressed against Jay's chest. "My sweet boy. You've worked yourself into a bit of a state, haven't you?" Jay kissed the top of his head.

He cuddled his overtired little one tightly. Jay now understood Xan felt very insecure, he wanted to contribute to the house, he didn't want to feel like a freeloader, or Jay to think of him as one, not that he ever would. And he had put himself through an emotional rollercoaster, thinking he needed to repay Jay for all the things he had brought him and pay the bills in the house. Between Xan's feelings of inadequacy and the frantic workload he had put on himself today, he was worn out.

Jay lifted his little ones head so he could see him face to face. "We will work it all out okay?" 

Xan nodded, with his tears now wiped away.

"Can I get a smile?"

"Yeah" Xan smiled up at Jay.

"Good boy. No more worrying." Jay storked Xan's cheek. "I want you to tell me when you feel somethings wrong, okay? And Daddy will fix it." Jay smiled. "Hey, I didn't check the sticker chart today. Shall we go and look?"

"Yeah!" Xan cheered. 

Xan gleefully took Jay around and showed him all the things he had done and Jay checked them off, rewarding them each with a star. 

"Ooo they are piling up. I think this weekend you will have enough to trade in for a surprise." Jay said with a wide grin.

Xan's eyes sparkled. "Really?"

"Yep! You'll have to have a think about what you'd like to trade them in for." 

Jay felt better than Xan was happy again. He didn't like to see his little one upset. The little one had faced many problems in a short time, he was bound to struggle. But as the problems came up, Jay was able to solve them for him. As he began to settle into his new home, the issues got smaller and their relationship got stronger. Xan thought he was the luckiest boy in the world to have Jay, but Jay felt that he was the real lucky one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion of part 2!   
> Part 3 will follow soon, it will be based more on their 'little' adventures and will start with Xan's star reward! What will he choose? ^_^
> 
> There will also be a Xan and Jay NSFW fiction coming in the next week.   
> fufufu (-_-'')


End file.
